Watching Rose Tyler
by Built on the Horizon
Summary: The Doctor has found a way to get back to her. Not your average reunioun fic. He has regenerated, she does not recongise him. He wants to know if she still loves him, so he spends his days watching Rose Tyler.
1. Regeneration

The doors opened with a shove, even though he was sure he left them locked, but Gallifrey knew his head wasn't the best before a regeneration, or during, or after, for that matter. He could feel it, burning inside of him, the equivalent of a four megaton nuclear warhead. The Doctor stumbled inside, kicking the door closed behind him. He needed to disappear; the vortex was the safest place to regenerate. He could feel his cells beginning to give way, accepting the tingle of regeneration on the edges of his being, but he held them back, not yet, it wasn't safe, not on this planet. They were going to start a nuclear war, they would destroy themselves without even knowing the reason why, so he stopped them, absorbing the energy of the first warhead into his own body. The decision had been mathematically simple: Five billion lives who don't regenerate verses one who does. He was still alone, no one to travel with him, he would have to rely on the TARDIS to help him. He lent on the consol, desperately trying to find which control triggered dematerialization. His fingers hovered over a button, but the TARDIS grumbled in reply. He tried a few more, but each time, she encouraged him not to. He ran his hands through his hair, it was such a simple task, one lever and he would disappear, but which one?

"_Help me, TARDIS"_ he begged silently. Glancing down at his hands, he noticed one was resting on a black lever that wasn't there before. He grinned and pulled. The TARDIS was always moving controls around, things always seemed to be where they were needed, but you could never see them move.

Stumbling backwards, he gripped the railing and let the energy consume him. It hurt. Regeneration always hurt. Billions of daggers pierced every cell in his body. Bones shrank and stretched, eyes burned, his hearts compressed too small, and everything itched. Every cell in his body was ripped away and replaced, for an instant, he feels like he is not in existence, feels nothing, sees nothing, then all his senses scramble and change. It is over. He is different.

Different. Changed. He is no longer the man he was. But he is still the Doctor. Always the Doctor.

He held a hand up to his face, and then pulled it away. Long sighted again. His hands went to his head. Hair, thank Rasillon. Longer this time, slightly curly. He caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of his eye, orangey red.

'_Damn it,'_ the Doctor thought, _'of all the colours it could have been, it had to be ginger.'_

Then he froze. Last regeneration, he had been hoping for ginger, now he hated it? This was the hardest part of regenerating, the change in the personality. The body, he could cope with, but, hating things he had loved? That was a completely different story.

The Doctor numbly realized that he had not spoken a word out loud yet. The last him had always talked, even when there was no one else to talk to.

'_Silly thing to do, really.' _The Doctor thought, _'Why bother speaking out loud to yourself, you can hear better in your mind.'_

He stumbled forward, taking first steps on new legs. He left the control room of the TARDIS, down the winding hallway. Thankfully, the TARDIS moved his room closer to where he was, so he didn't have to walk far. He closed the door behind him, asking the TARDIS to keep it locked until the regeneration sickness wore off, and collapsed onto the bed. He slept, his mind filled with images of the inner workings of the TARDIS, theories of Parallel worlds and the words Bad Wolf.

He sat bolt upright in his bed, his mind on one thought: He could get back to her.


	2. Meeting again

**Summary**_: The Doctor can get back to Rose Tyler, but he has regenerated, she doesn't know him. He cannot just take her away again, it has been two years, first, he must know if she still loves him, if she has moved on. He takes up an alias, just to get near to her, he watches her, studies her, and she still does not know who he is. It burns him inside, but he knows he must do this. _

**Characters**_: 11th Doctor, Rose mainly, others in the Parallel world, including some of my own._

**Rating**_: T. (safety, it wont get bad, I promise you, I'm Christian.)_

**Genre**_: Romance, Drama, maybe a bit of Angst._

**Spoilers**_: New series, Season 1 and 2, little bits and pieces from the Classic series, maybe. _

**Disclaimer**_: I don't own it, so don't ask._

_

* * *

They say that when you meet the love of your life, time stops. For Time itself does not always obey its Lord. True, this was not the first time the Doctor had seen Rose Tyler, but it felt like it. There she was, across the room, it was all he could do to stop himself marching over to her and sweeping her off her feet. But first, he had to know, know if she still loved him, know if she had moved on. He silently thanked her for her comment on the beach, if she hadn't said she was working at Torchwood, he might never have found her. Getting a job at Torchwood had been easier than he had thought, as it turns out, not many people were willing to sign that many contracts relating to national secrets and life and death claims for a nine to five labour job. He had to have an alias, of course, rent an apartment –with plenty of storage space for a special blue box-, have a name, get a phone number, the whole nine yards. It wasn't an exciting job, even by human standards, driving crates in and out and marking numbers of boxes on a clipboard, but, twice a day, he would see her come and go, and that was excitement enough._

Pete Tyler was the head of this Torchwood now, and Rose was his second in command. She oversaw everything, and she overlooked him.

'_What am I doing here?'_ The Doctor asked himself, _'Its been what? Two or so years for her? She must have moved on by now.'_ He pulled off his reading glasses and cleaned them on his shirt; they were black, like his last pair, but smaller with a thinner frame and shaped like a rounded rectangle. He placed them back on his face and continued to mark off alien technology. So many times now he had seen an object that they had classed completely wrong, but he couldn't correct any of them, he had to act like any old stupid human. He picked up object after object, examining them and marking their numbers on a clipboard. A tennis ball sized metal sphere, indestructible, the Doctor knew, very rare, he didn't know how they got it in the first place, but they had classed it as a weapon. He sighed and placed it in the box on his left, before reaching down and pulling up another item. His fingers curved around the familiar shape. It was thicker, much less elegant and had a transparent handle, but still, unmistakeably, a sonic screwdriver.

He checked the tag that had been attached to it, it was sent up from Research and Development. It had been made here, someone here had built it.

He hadn't used his old sonic screwdriver in this new body yet, even when he was making all those radical changes to the TARDIS to get him here, and remain undetected, he had found it much more satisfying to use his bear hands.

There was a small thud as one of the wooden boxes hit the ground. No one noticed it, no one but the Doctor. Nothing bumped it, it just fell. If he had been human, he would have ignored it, like everyone else was, but 900 years of police box travel have taught him that these kinds of things just reeked of adventure and danger.

He dropped the sonic screwdriver and cautiously made his way over to the box. Crouching down beside it, he lifted a hand and tapped the wood gently. To his amazement, the wood rippled from his touch. He glanced around the room; no one took any noticed of him, not even Rose, who was busy talking to someone on the other side of the room. He slowly reached out a hand to touch the crate, but before his hand got any where near it, the wood bubbled, and lurched around. The box melted slowly to the floor, bubbling as it sank. The Doctor had enough experience in Torchwood to know that this was unexpected. Several people had stopped what they were doing and were watching in confusion. Slowly, the blob that used to be the box and whatever was inside it moved and oozed away from where it had fallen. As it moved, it touched the side of a forklift. Where the blob touched, the forklift burned away, leaving a gaping whole in its side.

The spell broke. People were running, screaming, desperately trying to get away from the ooze. Someone pushed the Doctor backwards and he grabbed the edge of the table to keep himself upright. As he did, he touched the sonic screwdriver he had so carelessly left on the bench. His fingers curled around the familiar handle, suddenly, the solution became very clear. He grabbed the sonic screwdriver and the invincible metal sphere from the table and marched up to the dangerous blob. The Doctor put the ball to the ooze, feeling the heat as it tried, in vain, to destroy the sphere. He pressed the tip of his sonic screwdriver to the ball and felt the familiar buzz as the sphere was illuminated with a ghostly blue light. The blob shuddered and fell to the ground like water, the crisis had been averted. If it had been anywhere else, the Doctor would grin, wave and be on his merry way. But this was here, and he had a job to do.

Rose was coming, striding towards him, taking charge of the situation. His mind finally caught up with him and he knew what he had to do. He dropped the ball and the sonic screwdriver on the table as if in shock. Act like a human. He told himself. Shouldn't be to hard, he spent half his life acting; assuming false identity with the psychic paper, bluffing the enemy… of course, the addition of one Rose Tyler into the equation made it a whole heap more difficult. He stared down at his shaking hands and silently cursed himself for acting on impulse. He couldn't have left it to wreak havoc, but how was he supposed to explain it? Rose was talking to someone behind him, asking them about what happened. They had no idea. It wouldn't be long now before she talked to him. She asked him a question, he didn't hear it, he was biting her tongue, concentrating on not finishing the sentence he started on the beach all that time ago.

Rose grabbed the Doctors shoulders, shaking him slightly. He almost shivered at her touch; it was all he could do to stop himself flinging his arms around her and drawing her into a much needed hug.

'What's your name?' She asked after he finally looked her in the eye.

He desperately tried to recall his alias, any but the obvious, 'James.' He remembered. 'James Samuels.'

'James, I want you to tell me exactly what happened.' Rose took a step backwards and studied the surrounding area, giving the Doctor enough time to remember. He explained what happened, carefully making sure he didn't mention anything that "James Samuels" wouldn't know.

'Then, I, ah,' The Doctor swallowed, 'sorry, I grabbed the sonic probe-'

'Screwdriver.' Rose corrected softly.

'I'm sorry?' The Doctor cocked his head, knowing full well what she had said.

'I knew a guy, and he called it a sonic screwdriver.' Rose waved a hand dismissively.

_A guy._ The word burned itself into the Doctors mind.

'Well,' The Doctor said, recovering, 'The metal ball protected the sonic screwdriver while it delivered the right frequency to shut the… thing down.'

'How did you know that would happen?' Rose studied him, hard.

'I didn't.' The Doctor shrugged. 'But it made sense.'

'_The perfect alibi'_ The Doctor grinned inwardly, he could play the gifted human pretty well, and that would be the perfect cover for if he acted on impulse again.

Rose gave him a funny look, like she was staring straight into his soul. He quickly glanced away; scared that she might discover who he was just by looking him in the eye. His eyes were different now, emerald green, unlike the deep brown of his last pair or the electric blue of the pair before, the two eyes she had known on him. The Rose did something the Doctor did not expect. She invited him on a tour of Torchwood. The lowly position he had taken restricted him from seeing anything but the storage room. She showed him labs, testing rooms, Research and Development; dozens of rooms filled with scientists pouring over alien technology. The Doctor noted with interest, that on the entire tour, she never showed, nor mentioned the Ghostshift room, or whatever else they called it here, as they never had Ghostshift. She introduced him to a portly man called Robert who would help him out and answer any questions he had. Robert sat him down and handed him a broken gravitational shifter.

'Cant get it to work.' He said gruffly. 'See what you make of it.'

With that, Rose nodded and left the Doctor to his thoughts. He knew what the sifter was and how to fix it the second he looked at it. But he had to act like the stupid human "James" was.

'Robert.' The Doctor glanced up from his work; it was time to learn more. 'Tell me about Rose Tyler.'

'She taken your fancy, then?' Robert raised an eyebrow. 'Good luck with that.'

'Why do you say that?'

'She's not quite right. Up here, ya know?' Robert gestured to his head. 'She's got a key on a chain around her neck, and a dead phone in her pocket, its not normal.'

Dead phone. She still carried her phone with her, still hoped he would call, but it was broken, even with his jiggery pokery, it wouldn't work in an alternate reality.

'And another thing.' Robert added. 'She spends hours on end locked inside this big room at the top of the tower, it's not strictly off limits, but no one dares disturb her.'

'Why not?'

Top of the tower, that would be the Ghostshift room.

''Cause she always comes out crying.'

* * *

**There, it took a while, but there it is. Thank you so much to all who reviewed, _Shrink To Be, kiss-her-theta, waterdragon719, templremus1990, gaiafreedom21, JustThisOnce, Soap Sudd, and HarryWhoFanatic._**** You guys are awesome! I'm not that fast at updating, but I get there eventually, so hang in there! Keep sending in reviews, I love them! Questions? Comments? Ideas? Criticism? Anything really. Click that little purplely button down there.**


	3. Activation by accident

Rose spun on her heel and started yet another line of pacing. She had a tonne of paperwork to do, especially because she let that storage worker, James Samuels, up to the rest of Torchwood. The man had talent, and he didn't even know it. She should be working, she felt like working, so why couldn't she sit still?

Automatically, her hand trailed up to her neck, tracing the chain that she never took off. She pulled the pendant out from under her clothes and held it out in front of her. How could something so small mean so much? To anyone else, it was a round metal key that was somewhat old-fashioned, but to Rose, it meant a lifetime and more, a lifetime she could never get back. Her fingers curled into a fist around the small piece of metal, the TARDIS key. Once, the Doctor had told her that the key and the TARDIS itself are connected. She used to feel it grow just a little bit warm when she was near the blue box, so many times now; she had held it and furiously hoped it would get warmer. Rose closed her eyes and concentrated. Maybe, if she thought hard enough, it would connect. She could feel it getting warmer, it was-

'_Snap out of it, Rose.'_ She mentally scolded herself. _'He would want you to move on, to get on with your life.'_

Tucking the TARDIS key back under her shirt, she sat down at her desk, trying to get her mind occupied with anything but the past. She picked up a file on James and started filling in forms. The broken shifter she had told Robert to give him to fix should keep him occupied for a few… months. She wanted to see how well he would take up the challenge; he had already proved that he could think on his feet, now she needed to know just how clever he really was. Was it her imagination, or was the chain around her neck getting-

'Miss Tyler!' Robert panted, standing in the doorway to her office.

'Please, just call me Rose, Robert.' Rose said, flicking over some papers.

'Right, Rose.' Robert nodded. 'James did it.'

'Did what?'

'Fixed it, the shifter, already!' Robert said.

'What?'

* * *

The Doctor stared at his finished work. Completing it so quickly had been an accident, but his mind had wandered while his fingers worked, and he didn't even know what he was doing until he connected the last wire. Rose walked in, led by a thrilled Robert who couldn't believe his eyes. She stared at the piece of metal, hovering a foot above the desk, looking somewhat impressed. She turned to him, eyes full of wonder, the same way she looked when he showed her the year five billion.

'How did you do that? It should have taken months to fix.' She said.

'I don't know. I just knew that was how to fix it, I looked at it, and I knew. It's like…' The Doctor refrained from scratching his ear in thought, the tell-tail sign of his last regeneration, old habits die hard, so instead, he clicked his fingers. 'Like reading a foreign language that you've studied. You look at it, you know it's foreign, but you see English.'

'Yeah.' Rose said, deep in thought, 'I know the feeling.'

* * *

_There. That bit's done. Little short, but hey, live with it. Please review, it lightens up my day!_

_Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own it._

_Thank you so much: Gypsy of Atonement, str4yk1rr3n, Simply Lily, HarryWhoFanatic, gaiafreedom21, Vampbarbie, Lady Ardana, more-than-words, Kate Granger-Potter, templremus1990, kiss-her-theta, Vanderslice, Soap Sudd, JustThisOnce and waterdragon719 for reviewing! For that, you all get a virtual cookie. (its one of those twisty cream filled ones!)_

_Just to note, I'm from Australia, so I haven't seen Runaway Bride or any of season 3, so if anything in this is wrong because of that, please don't tell me, well, I guess you can, but only if it doesn't spoil anything! Also, tell me if I get any of the culture of England and stuff wrong too, it always helps._


	4. Guns and thoughts

Rose had been looking for James for the better part of an hour. Torchwood was a big place, he could have easily gotten lost. No, James was a smart man, he wouldn't get lost, so where on Earth was he?

'_Now, if I was a genius, where would I hide?'_ Rose thought, dully. That particle gun Robert had given him to fix was thoroughly fried, but he could have got it working pretty soon. A particle gun, once fixed, would need to be tested. And guns could be tested on the firing range.

Willing to follow up this train of thought, she pressed the button for level 12. There was the main firing range a level lower, but the ranges on level 12 were closer to the labs, so James could get more parts, and they were much more deserted. Rose was amazed when she realised her theory was correct. Torchwood was getting to her, she couldn't help but study everyone and everything she saw, analyse them. When she travelled with the Doctor, she saw they beauty, now she was the facts. She watched as James hefted the heavy gun onto his hip and aims it at the target. He activated it and reduced the target to shreds. Obviously unhappy with this result, he dropped the gun on the table and fiddled with it; pulling out bits of machinery and replacing them with other bits from a large pile to one side. Rose just stood there, watching him work through the one way mirror, she always loved to watch the Doctor work on the TARDIS, he looked so peaceful and-

Rose shook away the thought and snapped back to the present. James had finished with the particle gun, and pieced it back together. He aimed it at the new target and fired. This time the target disappeared, a small pile of dust the only evidence that it ever existed. James inspected the casing; he licked his thumb and cleaned a spot off the black metal. Rose couldn't help but grin, a perfectionist if she ever saw one. Now he eyed the back wall. It was covered with ordinary guns from Earth. Rose knew them all by name, she knew how many rounds they carried, how to load them, how to hold them, and, if she was really concentrating, she could tell which one fired the bullet from the sound it made. She had trained everyday for a year to handle guns, and still, she practiced at least five times a week in order to become a field agent. Pushing pens and signing papers all day made her sick. She just needed adventure, to go out and experience new things, and if she was running for her life, well, that just made it more fun. She rarely got to go on field missions, on the account of there weren't many to go on, but when she did, she loved every minute of it. Rose had been shocked when she realised just how much the Doctor had changed her. Jackie knew, of course, she told her so, the last day she had with him.

James held a P-90 at eye level. P-90's were one of her favourite weapons, not because of all that technical mumbo-jumbo, but because it _worked_ at it worked well too. Rose slipped silently inside, leaning her back against the door. James didn't notice her enter, and continued to inspect the P-90. He ran a hand over it, as if he was memorising it by touch. He selected a clip from the box labelled "Ammunition" and loaded it, his fingers moving with expert ease. James moved back over to the booth, he lined up the shot and fired three bullets into the target, making a neat little cluster of holes above the nine.

'Good shot.' Rose spoke up.

'Thanks.' James said, apparently not surprised that she was in the room. He hung the P-90 back on the wall and picked up a pistol, weighing it in his hand.

'It's funny; I wouldn't really pick you for a weapons kinda guy.' Rose said thoughtfully.

'Really?' James raised an eyebrow. He took up the correct pose and fired, boring holes in the target, closer to the centre than before, he lowered the gun. 'Neither would I.'

Rose felt a small smile tug at her lips. 'Well, for someone who is not a "weapons person", you've definitely got a good shot.'

'I understand machines, I always have.' James explained. 'Guns are just machinery. Getting the bullet where you want it to go, it's just a matter of physics, making the right calculations.'

Rose reached out and took the pistol from James's hand. 'Would you pick me for a weapons person?'

James looked taken aback for a moment. 'No, I guess I wouldn't, Miss Tyler.'

'Rose.' She repeated for the thousandth time since she joined Torchwood. She hated being called Miss Tyler; it was far too formal for her liking.

James nodded. Rose held the pistol with two hands, aimed and fired. All of her shots landed neatly within the 10 circle. James looked astonished.

'It just goes to show, James.' Rose unceremoniously dropped the pistol on the table. 'Humans are far different to machines. You can know all the facts about someone, make all the right calculations, but unless you actually know the person, you know nothing.'

And with that, she left James alone in the room, door clicking shut behind her.

* * *

The Doctor stared after her, mouth parted slightly in surprise. He never knew Rose could shoot like that. The Rose he had known never could.

_Unless you actually know the person, you know nothing._

Had she really changed so much? Was she really so different that she was a stranger to him? No. He was the stranger here.

The Doctor looked back at the target, the holes from her shots so precise, so perfect, so deadly.

The Rose he knew would never shoot someone or kill something; she had looked at a _Dalek_, for pity's sake and seen the most beautiful thing in the universe. Had he been gone so long? Would this new Rose really shoot someone? Worse still, would she shoot to kill?

The Doctor found a certain satisfaction when he shot the target, and that shocked him, he had always considered himself somewhat of a pacifist, he never found joy in destroying things. Sure, things just happened to get destroyed everywhere he went, but that was beside the point.

_Well, when we first met he blew my job up; it's practically how he communicates._

The Doctor fingered the discarded pistol thoughtfully. He was starting to get itchy feet. It wasn't his fault, he was a traveller by nature, it was in his blood. He hadn't stayed this long in the same spot since… well….since Susan. It wasn't because he didn't do domestic, he just needed adventure, to go out and experience new things, and if he was running for his life, well, that just made it more fun. If he hadn't seen Rose today, he might have packed up, cashed in the last ticket to his home universe, leave her be without ever meeting him, never know he'd been watching her. But then she met him, and everything changed.

He heaved the heavy particle gun onto his hip, aiming it at the target they both had shot at. With a click and a buzz, he destroyed the target in anger. She should not be able to shoot like that, so he destroyed the evidence that she ever had.

* * *

_Everyone has been bugging me about the length of the last one, so here is another relatively close to the last. Um, nothing much to say, I still don't own Doctor who… oh, I haven't done my thanks yet: Thanks to my brother's fascination with all things that cause destruction for giving me the inspiration for this chapter, my mum and dad for reading it, as well as my friends who all pestered me to continue and fast. And, of course, to all my wonderful reviewers, this chapter's prize is... a block of chocolate! Thankyou: __**Gypsy of Atonement, str4yk1rr3n, Simply Lily, HarryWhoFanatic, gaiafreedom21, Vampbarbie, Lady Ardana, more-than-words, Kate Granger-Potter, templremus1990, kiss-her-theta, Vanderslice, Soap Sudd, JustThisOnce, waterdragon719 RuthieG, Sarah, Sunny angel, Dybdahl, JForward and The Pistol Star.**_

_Please review everyone! It makes me write faster!_


	5. Training of a Time Lord

'Please, Dad.'

'Absolutely not. No way.'

Rose sighed in frustration, once he made up his mind, Pete Tyler was a very hard man to persuade otherwise, that was one thing she had picked up about her new father, but Rose was very determined.

Rose had come back from Torchwood with a new spring in her step; she had bounded up to her father and gave him a big hug. Pete immediately smelled a rat, pulling back from her and asking what she wanted this time. Rose just smiled and flashed those puppy dog eyes at him.

'You know how I was telling you on the phone about James Samuels?'

Pete had crossed his arms and frowned at her. He was unhappy that she had let a storage worker up to Torchwood before he had clearance, but he had given her a great amount of responsibility and she needed to learn how to handle it, and that meant making mistakes too.

'Well, I saw him in the firing range this afternoon,' Rose had said after her father had stopped giving her the death stare. 'He was getting near perfect scores.'

'Your point being…?'

'I think that he would make a good field agent, maybe, he could be my partner.'

Pete had refused; of course, there was no way he was letting some stranger take care of his only daughter. But Rose was determined.

'Please, Dad.'

'Absolutely not. No way.'

'Why not?'

'He's a complete stranger! We know next to nothing about him.'

'But I need a partner, since Mickey-' Rose swallowed and started again. 'I can't go out alone.'

Pete didn't answer. He stood up and busied himself making a cup of tea. Rose took his silence for another negative and tried again.

'Haven't you ever got that feeling?' She spun him around to face her, 'Trusted someone, even though it made no sense?'

Pete gave a sad smile as he brushed some hair out of Roses face. 'I trusted you, and the Doctor.'

Rose put her arms around her father and hugged him. 'Yeah, I know. I trusted him too.'

Pete rested his chin on Roses head and stared into space in silence, just enjoying her company. Finally, he gave in.

'Alright.' He sighed. Rose squealed and hugged him tighter. 'He can be your partner. But only if he can beat you in a fight.'

Rose considered for a moment, and then nodded.

'Thanks, Dad. You won't be disappointed." She said over her shoulder as she ran from the room.

'I better not!' he called after her. He sighed and shook his head. Rose Tyler, his half adopted half biological daughter. Child of his wife and a dead man with his name and face. She could be very stubborn at times, trait of her mother, but if she set her mind to something, if she was determined, she could do anything.

* * *

Thump. Thump. _Whack!_

'Again!'

The Doctor regained his footing and caught his breath. Rose's last blow had winded him and sent him stumbling to the other side of the sparring room. He wiped the sweat off his face with his arm. They had been sparing for two hours now, he had counted every second, for every second was torment for him. He would watch Rose take a side against him and fight him, beat him, hurt him, look at him like every fibre of her being wanted to hurt him. She had hyped herself up, of course, but the look in her eye still scared him.

The Doctor took up the correct stance, still breathing heavily, Rose moved slightly, lowering one arm and drawing the other back, a defensive position; she wanted him to start the attack. Reluctantly, he took up the opposite position. He hated this, hated trying to hurt her; it was against everything he thought he knew. The Doctor lunged at her, but she gracefully stepped aside, catching his arm and twisting it behind his back. She kicked the back of his knees and he crumpled to the ground. The Doctor knew Rose wouldn't stop until her beat her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

'Again.' Rose repeated. It was the only word she had said for the past two hours. Again. Again. Again. Every time he lost the fight, they would just start again. The Doctor got to his feet. Rose took the offensive stance this time. She came at him, arms moving with deadly precision. He blocked a few strikes, but then her fist found his gut and he doubled over, gasping for breath.

'Come on James,' Rose said, she wasn't even breaking a sweat. 'You're better than this. You have it in you, I know you do. You had plenty of opportunities to him me just then, you just have to take them.'

The Doctor chose not to answer. He walked over to the bench in the corner without a word and took a long; much needed drink from his drink bottle. Rose got the idea and joined him. He already knew what was at stake, Rose had told before they started. He knew that he had to fight, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

'Okay. Think of it this way.' Rose tried again. 'The human body is just a very complex machine. Like all machines, it has weakness and it can be predicted, a twitch, a muscle tensing up, it leads to a movement, you just need to know how to counter it.'

The Doctor moved into position. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. When he opened his eyes, it was no longer Rose Tyler who stood before him; it was an unnamed enemy who needed to be defeated. Surprisingly calm, he took the offensive stance. The enemy looked surprised, but took up the opposing position. The Doctor took a step forward, closing the gap between them. He struck at his foe, once, twice, three times; the enemy blocked them with precision. He was on the attack, driving the enemy backwards. The Doctor hooked his leg around the knee of his enemy, grabbing them by the shoulders. He flicked them down. Their back slammed into the ground, the Doctor hovered over his enemy, still pinning them to the ground, his breathing ragged. The defeated smirked slightly, nodding with approval. The enemy had a name; the Doctor knew that, he just needed to remember what it was. He breathed in the scent of his foe. Strawberries, the salt of its sweat, a floral shampoo and, if he concentrated, the faint smell of background radiation that accompanied all of his assistants. No. Companion. Rose preferred companion.

Rose.

The Doctor blinked and her face came into focus. He hurriedly stood up, apologising for what had happened.

'No, no.' Rose said. 'It was good, you did well.'

The Doctor was not so sure.

'Like I said before.' Rose told him. 'Field missions are rare, but when they do come around, they will be dangerous.'

The Doctor nodded, wiping his face on a towel. He did dangerous in his sleep.

'You could be running for you life."

He always ran for his life. He told Rose to run and he hadn't had the time to catch his breath since.

'You could be negotiating with alien with all of Earth at stake.'

He always did that, he always saved some planet, some where, every now and then, it was Earth.

'And you may be forced to shoot on sight.'

Could he do that? Kill in cold blood? He had done it before, but now it felt different. There was usually a legitimate reason for aliens landing on Earth, what if Torchwood got it wrong? What if he was forced to shoot as someone who was only here to seek refuge?

The Doctor gave a lop-sided grin and tried to lighten the mood. 'Sounds like fun.' But it fell flat when he saw Roses serious face.

'It won't be fun. It won't be clever.' She said. 'You will just have to make a choice and hope it plays out alright.

The Doctor nodded. He just hoped he could handle it.

* * *

The Doctor winced and stuck two fingers in his mouth to sooth the scorch burns. Deep in the bowels of the TARDIS, when ever he touched something electrical, he was completely at her mercy, and she didn't like half of the radical changes he was making to her. But they were essential. If the TARDIS was constantly in full working order, it was only a matter of time until Torchwood found him, and he was not looking forward to trying to explain that. Also, it would be a disaster if the translating circuits had been left on, all the languages on Earth and beyond being translated into English for the people of London. The Doctor shuddered at the thought; that would be horrible. He spoke fluent English, as well as thirty other languages used on Earth in the age. It was very difficult to power down his ship, harder still when said ship was a sentient being that had saved his life more times than he could count. He had already turned off the heating, the water, and most of the controls. 

The Doctor detangled himself from the countless wires and spare parts he had managed to submerge himself in and headed off for the control room. Giving the consol a reassuring pat, he exited his beloved ship, locking the doors behind him. He had been lucky, getting an apartment with storage space to fit the TARDIS, he couldn't let the old girl spend the whole time standing on some street corner, open to graffiti artists of all sorts, not to mention the danger of Rose or one of the others see it.

His apartment was smaller than he would have liked, of course, his last place of residence was a dimensionally transcendental Time/Space machine with near-infinite space within the confines of a 1960's police box.

After sparring, which had been both physically and mentally exhausting for him, Rose had led him through a series of tests which were almost laughable. She showed him pieces of paper with writing on them and asked him to identify which one was actually blank. His people were naturally telepathic, so psychic paper never fooled him, she led him to the firing range and asked him to hit targets of varying sizes, all of which he hit perfectly, save for some accidentally on purpose shots that went a bit off, to account for "human error", running and fitness tests and many others that he passed with flying colours. He was now officially, Rose's partner.

Oh, Rassilon. Even in his own head that didn't sound right.

The Doctor found his thoughts drifting back to her, they always did these days, it was hard not to. He refused to enter her mind a find out for himself, it was an invasion of privacy, and he was also scared of what he would find there, and she might figure out it was him and put two and two together, he couldn't do that to her. It was better to just slip away during the night, leave without saying goodbye. For some companions, he did just that. Pick them up while they were sleeping, leave them on their beds back at home and go before they wake up. No. He couldn't do that to Rose, he promised her he wouldn't.

He promised a lot of things to a lot of people. He promised Reinette the stars. He promised Jackie he'd keep her safe. He promised Rose forever.

She still cared about him, he saw it in her eyes, but care was a far cry from love.

Love.

There it was again, that word that haunted him. He understood machines, yes, but emotions were far harder. There was not "right calculations" for emotions, just feelings. Damn these human emotions, he used to think things were so clear, now he was not so sure.

He reached his apartment and stared at the normalcy of it, grin on his face. Crowded living room, cluttered kitchen, dirty dishes and empty fridge.

'Rose Tyler, look was you've done.' The Doctor muttered to himself. 'Gone and turned me domestic.'

But now that he thought about it, Domestic isn't half bad.

* * *

**Sorry about the delay, the sparring scene was murder to write. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter:**

**_Gypsy of Atonement, str4yk1rr3n, Simply Lily, HarryWhoFanatic, gaiafreedom21, Vampbarbie, Lady Ardana, more-than-words, Kate Granger-Potter, templremus1990, kiss-her-theta, Vanderslice, Soap Sudd, JustThisOnce, waterdragon719 RuthieG, Sarah, Sunny angel, Dybdahl, JForward, The Pistol Star, Gamine Madcap, Kyra Neko, Making My Way Back To Galiffrey, horsefly, Doctored, blackhairdye and bad-wolf-bay._**

**There is nothing that makes me want to write more than coming home from school and seeing an inbox full of reviews! So send more! If you do, this chapter's prize is a lolly pop! Strawberry flavored, my favorite.**

**Next chapter's Title: Ghostshift Room.**

**Dan dan DANNN!!!!!!**


	6. Ghostshift Room

Rose wasn't at Torchwood today, it was her day off. The Doctor didn't like the idea of spending an entire day at Torchwood without her, although, it did open up certain opportunities that would otherwise be closed to him. Glancing over his shoulder to check if he was alone, he put down the latest piece of alien technology he was working on.

"_I could always finish it later."_ He reasoned with himself. _"Now, let's go exploring!"_

He casually strolled through Torchwood, memorising everything he saw. No one stopped him, a memo had been sent around to the staff concerning Rose's new field partner. To the untrained eye, the Doctor was wandering aimlessly, but he had a destination, he knew where he was going. At the top of Torchwood tower, in one of the more deserted sections, the Doctor found a closed, plain white door.

He tried the handle. Locked, of course. He didn't have his sonic screwdriver on him; it was too dangerous to keep around Torchwood.

'_Looks like I'll have to improvise."_ He dug his hand into his pocket to pull out some wire when his fingers brushed a familiar piece of metal. He froze, mind working fast. The lock above the handle was rather old-fashioned, especially for a high-tech organisation like Torchwood, if he had to guess, he would place the lock from about the 1960's.

He withdrew his hand from his pocket, still clutching the metal he had found. He stared down at the key in his palm, his TARDIS key.

'No… could it…?" He muttered to himself, before sliding the key into the lock. A perfect fit. He took one last look over his shoulder before entering the Ghostshift room.

He spun around when he entered, so he was facing the door. The door was no longer white like it was on the outside, it was painted blue, painted to resemble his home. The Doctor let go of the handle like it was burning his hand. It was then that he noticed the plaques. It was the one at his right he saw first. Black with gold lettering, about the size of a credit card, it had one word inscribed on it: Gwyneth. And on another plaque below it: Mr Sneed. He slowly turned to see the rest of the room. Three of the walls were covered in identical plaques, each with a single name engraved on it. Several jumped out at him; Mr Magpie, Cassandra, Chip, Margaret Blaine, Suki, hundreds of names, representing hundreds of people, hundreds of deaths. A larger plaque, pride of place in the centre of one of the walls bore the inscription: Captain Jack Harkness. The Doctor tore his eyes away from the plaque and turned his attention to the fourth wall. It was the one that connected to the void in his home universe.

It was covered in drawings, from the roof to the floor, lead pencil drawings, some little more than sketches, other full paged with shading. They were all signed by Rose.

'_I never knew Rose could draw like that."_ The Doctor took a step forward. All of the drawings were pictures of him, in both regenerations, him and the TARDIS, him and Rose, him and Jack, in some, they were laughing, fixing the TARDIS, grinning like a maniac and in one, he had his back pressed against the outside of the TARDIS, hands shoved deep in his leather jacket, staring at the ground. At the bottom, Rose had written "The Doctor with his people."

The Doctors foot brushed against something that had been left on the floor. He looked down, it was a book. He gently eased if off the floor as if sudden movements might break it. It was a diary, her diary. He quickly thumbed through the book, pages and pages of her familiar handwriting. Every entry started with the same two words: Dear Doctor. He flicked to a random page near the front and began to read.

_Dear Doctor,_

_I don't know why I keep starting my entries like that, I suppose it seems more natural that "Dear Diary". Have you got a companion yet? I hope so. I can't bare the thought of your hand being empty. I hope she's nice. Torchwood is alright, it's all a bit formal for my liking. It was so much better when I was with you; it was just "get there, save the world and onto the next adventure." Now its boring paperwork followed by more paperwork. I'm pretty amazed at how much stuff I've picked up, little bits and pieces here and there have become very useful._

It was almost too late when he heard the footsteps. They were far to close to run out of the room, and the Ghostshift room itself held no places to hide. The Doctor snapped the diary shut and let it fall to the ground. He turned to face the door just as it swung open.

Rose stood in the doorway, in her hand, she held onto a pendant attached to a chain that was around her neck. She looked at him incredulously, before tucking the chain under her clothes.

'What are you doing here?' She demanded.

'I, I was wandering around, no one told me were the door led, I thought I'd take a look.' The Doctor stuttered out, improvising.

'That door was locked.' Rose seemed… angry? Almost like… an invasion of privacy? Something to ponder on later, the Doctor decided.

The Doctor grinned sheepishly, 'Locks are just machinery. I can be very… persuasive when I'm curious.'

Rose smiled. 'You're lucky you're my partner. Anyone else, I'd kick out in a heartbeat. Good thing we need curiosity in a field agent.' Rose walked up beside him and stared at the wall covered in drawings.

'Who were they?' The Doctor gestured to the wall. _'That's good, Doctor, keep it plural.'_

'That one.' She pointed with her chin to a picture of the Doctor in his leather jacket. 'That's the Doctor and him.' She nodded to another drawing of him in a pinstripe suit. 'That's Doctor John Smith. They were so similar at times; I called them both the Doctor.'

'Don't look the same.' The Doctor frowned, folding his arms.

'Yeah, that's what I thought at first.' Rose laughed, her eyes lighting up with a glisten so long forgotten.

The Doctor watched Rose Tyler laugh, a sight he had missed for so very long. She caught him staring and met his gaze. The Doctor quickly recovered and gave her a pointed look, urging her to continue.

'I travelled around with them for a while a couple of years back. I met John when I was travelling with the Doctor, so I travelled with him.'

The Doctor was amazed, she was actually being dismissive.

'And then?' He pressed for more information.

'He kept moving, I stayed behind.'

Is that what she thought? That he left her behind like what he did to Sarah-Jane?

'And what about these?' the Doctor turned to view the rest of the room.

'They're people we met on our travels.' She explained, running a hand over a plaque labelled "Scooti Manista".

'_They are more than that.'_ The Doctor thought. _'It's a memorial to the dead. The deaths that I showed you.'_

'You certainly have been busy redecorating, what's the big fuss?' the Doctor asked.

'If you knew the Doctor, you'd understand.'

There was a short silence while the Doctor digested what he had learnt, committing it to memory. Then he broke the silence. 'What are you doing here anyway? I thought it was your day off.'

'Yeah, I can tell you're new here.' Rose grinned. 'My "days off" are really just when my mum forces me to sleep in then makes up excuses for me to stay at home till I can figure how to escape.'

'Work-a-holic?' the Doctor laughed.

Rose grinned. 'More like mum-a-phobic.'

And they laughed. Like they used to, like they should. The past was forgotten while they both enjoyed the moment.

* * *

The Doctor threw down his pen and heaved a heavy sigh. He pulled off his glasses and cleaned them on the corner of his shirt. There was no reason that the aero foil rotor shouldn't work. He had checked and double checked the wiring, gone over the schematics and taken apart and reconstructed the spindle, nothing was wrong with it, it just wouldn't work. 

The Doctor stood and paced around the table as if looking at if from a different angle would solve his problems.

'Whatcha doing?' The sudden appearance of Rose at his side startled him slightly.

'This stupid rotor won't work.' The Doctor grumbled. He pulled a small brown paper bag out of his pocket. He opened it and pointed it in her direction. 'Want one?' he offered.

'Nah, I'm alright.' Rose shook her head.

'You sure?' He waved it in her face playfully. She frowned at him before putting her hand inside and grabbing a jelly baby. The Doctor grinned and had a hand full himself.

'So, what's wrong with it?' Rose turned her attention to the rotor on the table.

'I have no idea.' The Doctor said honestly. 'No matter what I do to it, it won't work.'

Rose scanned the device for a moment. Her eyes caught something and she stifled a laugh. The Doctor looked at her, eyebrows raised. She met his gaze, biting her bottom lip in an attempt to stop bursting out laughing.

'You are such an idiot.' She forced out.

'What?' The Doctor asked, the picture of innocence.

Rose shook her head and leaned over the desk to the power pack that was connected to the rotor. She flicked the switch and the rotor began to spin.

The Doctors mouth moved silently for a few moments before he finally said 'Right'

'Yeah.' Rose said, smirking. 'Power usually helps.'

'Yes, I do believe it does.' The Doctor nodded, and then he smiled. 'And they call me a genius.'

Rose shook her head again; she walked off, playfully hitting the Doctor on the arm as she left.

The Doctor was left alone with the spinning rotor. It was long after Rose had left when he finally realised he had been beaten at his own game by Rose.

* * *

Death. 

He reeked of it.

He could smell it in the air, he could taste it in the water, he could feel it in the planet, he had witnessed it happen in front of him time and time again, he had caused the death of billions, his entire race was dead at his own hands. He started the fire that wiped them out.

At the time he thought that it was worth it but then he found that they died for nothing.

He lost his entire home, his people. He has nothing left.

Through the window near the top of Torchwood, he can see most of London. He hates seeing the human race so happy and loved. Friends and family all around them, laughing, smiling, never knowing just how much he suffered, how much he did, how much he gave up to just keep them alive.

Every one of his people was dead. He was the only survivor, the last of his kind in the Universe. No one understood, no one knew the pain that he had gone through in the War. He lost so many then, he lost everyone. Such great pain.

'Who did you loose?' There was a voice at his side, it was familiar. It was Rose.

The Doctor jolted back to the present.

'What?' He asked.

'A friend of mine, the Doctor, he-' She swallowed, choosing her words carefully. 'He lost a lot of people in his life. He always got that look in his eye when he thought of them. Who did you loose?'

The Doctor sighed and looked back out the window. He told the truth.

'My family.'

Rose placed a reassuring hand on the Doctors arm. 'Tell me.'

'There was a fire at my home.' The Doctor said simply. 'I wasn't there at the time. No one survived.'

Rose rubbed her hand up and down the Doctors arm, comforting him. He pressed his forehead to the window over looking London. He breathed heavily, his breath fogging up the glass.

'Never really had a family since then.' He added as an after thought.

Rose thought for a moment, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she found the right words. 'Come and have tea at our house tonight. Stay the night.'

The Doctor was startled. 'What? No, I couldn't.'

'Why not?' Rose asked.

The Doctor couldn't think of a reason.

'Look.' Rose removed her hand from the Doctor's arm and instantly he missed its warmth. 'Were you planning on eating tonight?'

'Yes but-'

Rose held up a hand to silence him. 'Were you planning on sleeping tonight?'

The Doctor nodded, he wasn't actually, Time Lords need a lot less sleep than humans. 'Yes.'

'Great!' Rose clapped her hands together. 'Do it at my house. Anyway, my parents deserve to meet my new partner.'

Maybe it was hearing her call him her partner, maybe it was the pleading look in her eye, maybe it was the comforting hand she had placed on his arm a few moments before, for whatever reason, the Doctor found himself crumbling.

'Oh alright.'

'Yes!' Rose raised her fists in victory. She began to walk away backwards so she could still talk to him.

'What time?' He called after her.

'Round seven. I'll send you an e-mail with the info.' She grinned at him. 'See you then!'

The Doctor sighed and turned back to the window, a small grin on his face. The human race could keep their laughs and smiles; he had found a family willing to take him in.

**

* * *

**

_Sorry about the wait, end of school term and all the teachers decided to give us homework at the same time. Aren't I lucky? Please, please, please, please, please review, it brightens up my day. Thank you to everyone who reviewed for previous chapters, I'm gonna skip the usual list, you know who you are. This chapter's prize for reviewing is an Easter egg!! The big novelty sized ones!_

_Okay, I've got some good news, I've got some bad news and I've got some neutral news. I am going to Africa as a student exchange thing for Term 2! I'm gonna go and stay with some missionary friends of ours. Okay, bad news, I am not sure how much time I'm going to have on the computer over there or how good the internet connection is, so the updates may be spasmodic at best. Good news, the people I'm staying with are the people that got me hooked on Doctor Who in the first place so I'll have their knowledge and expertise to help me write._

_I don't own Doctor Who._

_Thanks to my Dad and my friends Mushy and Took (not on this site, so don't look) who acted as my BETA for this chapter._

_Happy Easter everybody!_


	7. Meet the parents, again

_R-ring!_

No answer. He tried again.

_R-ring!_

'Yeah! I'm coming!' Rose called from inside. There was a thunder of footsteps as she ran down the stairs.

Outside on the doorstep, the Doctor was fidgeting. He was nervous. _Nervous!_ He was the Oncoming storm for pity's sake, and he was nervous about spending the night at the Tyler's.

The door swung inward to reveal an overly cheerful Rose.

'Right on time.' She said with a smile. She invited him in. The house was very different to the last time he was there. The fancy decorations for Jackie's 40th (or 39th) had disappeared a long time ago. Now, there was definitely evidence of the Tyler girls moving in. Jumpers, coffee cups, magazines, phones, books, C.D.'s, everything was everywhere. The Doctor could see evidence of a half-hearted attempt at a clean-up, but the over-all feeling of home was still there.

'Dad!' Rose called down the hall.

'Yah?'

'James' here!'

Pete emerged from one of the rooms, the same one, the Doctor noticed, that he had walked into and borrowed a computer from the last time her was here.

'James Samuels.' The Doctor extended a hand.

'Pete Tyler.' Pete shook it with a very firm grip.

'Mum! James' here!' Rose called out to Jackie.

'Comin'' came the answer. There was a clatter as Jackie put down what she was doing. She came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel.

'Hello, James.' She said, extending a hand. 'Good to meet you, I'm Jackie.'

'Good to meet you too.' The Doctor said politely, shaking her hand.

Jackie turned to Rose. 'Give me a hand in the kitchen, would you?'

Rose nodded, once her mum had turned around, she rolled her eyes at the Doctor who grinned in response. Once they were gone, Pete turned to him.

'I just want you to understand, James.' Pete said, his voice low and dangerous. 'I am putting my only daughter in your care.'

'_Only daughter.'_ The Doctor thought. _'Jackie must have had a boy.'_

'I know.' He said aloud.

'She trusts you. Do you trust her?'

'Yes.'

Pete folded his arms over his chest and glared at the Doctor. 'Would you die for her?'

'_Already have.'_ The Doctor smiled sadly.

'Yes.' He said softly, avoiding eye contact. But when he told Pete that he would die for Rose, he didn't mean regenerate, he meant die. He would give up his last regeneration for her.

Pete clapped him on the shoulder. 'You're a good man. Not many people would admit that.'

The Doctor felt he had passed Pete's test. He held up the rucksack containing his clothes to bring it to Pete's attention.

'Ah, yes, this way.' Pete led him down the hall to get settled in.

* * *

'Give me a hand in the kitchen, would you?' Her mum asked Rose.

'_Oh, sounds like fun.'_ Rose thought sarcastically. She rolled her eyes at James who grinned in return. She walked off after her mum.

Once they were out of ear shot, her mum muttered in her ear. 'Let the boys have a talk.'

Rose's eyes widened in realization. 'Hope Dad doesn't scare him off.'

'I gotta say.' Her mum said once they were in the safety of the kitchen. 'This is the first boyfriend you've brought home in a while.'

Rose sighed in frustration. 'He's not my boyfriend, mum. He's my field partner.'

Her mum nodded, small grin on her face as she peeled a potato. Rose could tell she thought she was in denial. 'Look.' Rose tried again. 'He's not my boyfriend. I'm not ready yet.'

'Will you ever be read, sweetheart?' Her mum asked. 'The Doctor and Mickey, they'd want you to move on.'

Rose didn't answer, she turned to the bench and continued cutting up the carrot.

'This James fellow.' Her mum continued. 'He's easy on the eyes.'

'Mum!' Rose exclaimed, a blush creeping into her cheeks.

'I'm just saying.' Her mum held up her hands. 'If you want to move on, here's your chance.'

Rose said nothing.

* * *

'Mmm… This smells good.' The Doctor said as Jackie came out of the kitchen, steaming plate in hand.

'Shepherds pie!' She announced, setting it down on the table. She cut it up and handed everyone a piece. When she gave a piece to Pete, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. The Doctor couldn't help but smile.

'How's Tod?' Pete asked as Jackie took her seat.

'He's already asleep.' She answered.

'Tod?' The Doctor asked Rose, even though he already knew the answer.

'My baby brother.' She answered.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows in fake surprise. 'I didn't know you had a brother.'

'You never asked.' Rose said.

'You never said.' The Doctor shot back. Rose just grinned and dug into her shepherd's pie.

'So tell me, James.' Pete said, drinking from his glass. 'What do you think about Torchwood?'

'Oh, it's great.' The Doctor was very careful not to talk with his mouthful. Rose had given him an earful when he did that at the Christmas party at Jackie's flat.

'Got to admit, it's not often we let a storage worker become a field agent in one jump.' Pete munched on a mouthful of mince.

'Well, I'm thankful that you made the exception.' The Doctor grinned. 'Have you always been involved in Torchwood?'

'Only in the past two years.' Rose answered. 'I didn't have time while I was travelling.'

Out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor saw Pete and Jackie share a look, apparently, Rose didn't tell them about him in the Ghostshift room.

'So why did you become a field agent?' The Doctor's seemingly meaningless question would tell him a lot.

'The thrills, mainly.' Rose shrugged. 'A good friend of mine, Mickey, he was the one who got me into it in the first place. He used to be my partner.'

Finally, a mention of Mickey. The Doctor frowned at her last words. 'Used to be?' He repeated.

'He died.' Rose stared down at her plate. 'About a year ago now. Activated a self-destruct on a space ship, didn't make it out in time. He saved the world.'

A lump lodged itself in the Doctors throat. Dead? Mickey the Idiot, died saving the Earth, saving Rose.

'I'm sorry.' He forced out, trying to hide the emotion from his voice.

'Don't be.' Rose said, softly. 'But now you know how dangerous it is. Do you want to leave?'

The question was a challenge, she expected him to back down, to give up from fear of death. He met her eyes. 'Never.' His voice was low and certain.

The Doctor could see that Rose was a little taken aback from the intensity of his gaze, but she nodded.

There was no going back now.

* * *

The Doctor raised the cup to his lips, drinking the hot tea inside. The Tyler's had gone to bed a few hours ago. He had lain awake in the guest bedroom until he was sure they were asleep before creeping into the kitchen for a cup of tea and sitting in the surprisingly comfortable sofa in the lounge room. Time Lords didn't need nearly as much sleep as humans, most nights on the TARDIS, he used the time while his companions were sleeping to fiddle with the TARDIS, now, he just used the time to think. When he did sleep, he wished that he never had to; the nightmares of the War haunted him, the faces of people he had watched die begged him to save them.

He took a long sip from hid tea and closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the lounge. Mickey was dead. He couldn't believe it. It had been hard not to show emotion during tea, the news had hit him hard. But Rose didn't seem affected by the memory.

For the first time in he didn't know how long, the Doctor heard Rose coming before she actually got there. She had picked up quite the knack of being able to sneak up on him since they met again. He could tell her walk from anyone else's; she stepped on the outside of her foot first, and then rolled inward to a flat foot. She came in through the door, hot cup of tea in her hand.

'Cant sleep?' The Doctor asked. She jumped slightly, suddenly aware that he was in the room. She nodded.

'You?' She asked.

'I don't sleep much.' The Doctor shrugged.

'Because of your family?' Rose asked.

The Doctor looked up at her, startled. She could read him like a book; she knew that he was scared to sleep because of his dreams. He nodded mutely.

Rose settled herself into the sofa beside him, leaving her tea on the coffee table. She curled up into a ball, chin resting on her knees. 'Tell me about them.' It was a question, an offer and a request all at the same time.

So the Doctor did.

'My family were a pretty strange bunch, compared to everyone else we knew, that is.' He began. 'We were, what would you call it? A straight-jacket in a tie society.'

Rose giggled and wriggled deeper into the sofa, closing her eyes.

'It started with my father.' The Doctor continued, twisting the facts. 'He married my mother when everyone else said she shouldn't. She was "Below him" that's what they said. They had me-' He paused, remembering that a human in their late twenties would not have grandchildren, so he made his daughter become his sister. '-and my sister. I was a right little terror when I was a kid. Correcting other peoples spelling at the age of three, beating my mother at chess when I was seven… I was such a brat.'

Rose let out a small laugh. Her head dropped onto his shoulder, a hitch in his breathing the only evidence the Doctor had been affected by the contact.

'My sister got married to the kind of bloke she was supposed to. Upright, proper and extremely dull. Their child, Susan, now she was a character. Magnet for trouble. That's probably why we got on so well…'

The Doctor trailed off. Susan, gone now, like the rest of his people. But Rose was still waiting.

'When they died, everyone except for me was at our house. I was running late. Coming home to see everyone again. By the time I got there, the house was already in flames. No one survived.' The Doctor stared out into space, a great battle playing out before him, a planet and fleet of ships alike burning with the unstoppable fire. He closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath, letting the memory slide over him. A solitary tear ran unchecked down his cheek, the hot, salty water burning his face.

A low murmuring came from his side. He turned his head, careful not to disturb the now sleeping form of Rose. She trusted him enough to not only fall asleep in the same room as him, but also sleep with her head resting on his shoulder.

Gently easing her off him, he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other under her knees. Her skin was cold under his fingers. Slowly, he lifted her off the sofa and carried her down the fall toward her room.

Rose made a noise and burrowed deeper into the Doctor's chest. He smiled.

Her room was in the same mess she usually kept it in when she was on the TARDIS. He still hadn't touched a thing in her room. It was exactly as she left it.

He tucked her gently into the sheets of her bed, pulling the duvet up around her shoulders. Still asleep, she bunched the sheets up in her arm and cocooned herself in them. It would be so easy to just stay until she woke, but he was her field partner now, he wasn't even her best friend anymore. Resisting the urge to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, the Doctor turned and headed for the lounge room, clicking the door shut.

Behind him, Rose slept better than she had for two years.

* * *

'James!' Rose called, running into his workplace, waving a piece of paper. James was sitting at a bench, pen between his teeth, papers scattered over the floor, wires over the shoulder and a half assembled piece of machinery in front of him.

'Well, you certainly settled in well.' Rose said, hands on hips.

James raised his eyebrows, looking slightly ridiculous with his pen in his mouth. Taking it out, he jotted something down on some paper and detangled himself from his most recent work. 'I like my way of order.' He said defensively.

'It's more like organized chaos.' Rose frowned. Then she remembered why she was there. 'Oh yeah.' She said, holding up the piece of paper. 'We got our first mission!'

'Really? That's great!' James stood, wiping the grease off his hands with a towel that was probably dirtier than his hands.

'Kirsten Yeates. She's an alien refugee. She came here a few years ago, running from her husband, Emperor Mainyu. She was carrying his child and she wanted protection, so we gave it to her.' Rose explained.

'So what's the mission?' James asked.

'She's having a formal party. She's scared that her husband might come for her daughter.' She answered.

James raised his eyebrows. 'Will he?'

'Nah, he doesn't even know she's here.' Rose waved a hand dismissively. 'Anyway, she wants us to be at this party. Just to make sure nothing goes wrong.'

'So, what, we're security guards?' James asked.

'Better.' Rose grinned evilly. 'We're guests.'

* * *

_(Yes, that is how I walk.)_

_Yay! I got another one up before I go!_

_There, it took a while, but its there. Thank you everyone who reviewed last chapter! You brighten up my day! And to anyone who reviews this chapter, I'll give you a virtual bag of Jelly Beans!_

_I dont own Doctor Who. (I'm getting sick of writing that so that one applies for the whole story.)_

_Constructive critisisim? Comments? Any kind of feedback is greatly apreciated._


	8. A special moment

'This is a bad idea.' The Doctor called to the closed door, fidgeting nervously with his jacket.

'Come on James,' Rose's voice sounded exasperated from the other side of the door. 'What else am I supposed to say? "Hi, I'm Rose, this is James, he's my field partner. We're from a top secret organization called Torchwood, here to make sure an alien emperor doesn't steal the host's daughter. She's an alien too, by the way. Nice chat, hope you enjoy the party."?'

'Yeah, but-' The Doctor started.

'James.' Rose interrupted, matter-o-factly. 'A couple wandering around insisting they are not a couple are bound to get noticed. And the purpose of this mission is to stay undercover. Whether you like it or not, James, for tonight, we're engaged.'

The Doctor stared down at the plain gold band that encased the ring finger on his left hand. With his little finger and his thumb, he began twisting it around.

'And stop fiddling with your ring.' Rose's voice came through the door. 'It makes it obvious you haven't been wearing it long.'

'How did you know I was fiddling with it?' The Doctors arms snapped to his side.

Rose didn't answer, but the Doctor could have sworn he heard her chuckle.

The Doctor took a few paces down the hall away from the room where Rose was changing. He folded his arms over his chest and drew a deep breath.

A click of a door and a rustle of clothing alerted the Doctor the Rose was behind him. He spun around to see Rose standing in the hall, dressed up for the night ahead.

Her dress was midnight blue and it sparkled when she moved. Floor length and figure hugging, Rose looked beautiful.

'Blimey.' Was all the Doctor could manage.

'Don't you dare laugh.' Rose pointed an accusing finger at him.

'You look beautiful.' He said with all honesty. Only this time, he didn't follow it up with "Considering."

* * *

'How'd you know I was fiddling with it?' James asked. 

Rose grinned evilly at her reflection. Pulling a curl of hair out of the way, she attached her earring. In front of the full length mirror, Rose could see any imperfections in her dress, and as far as she could tell, there were none. Straight cut across the top with thin straps over her bare shoulders, she loved this dress. She didn't know why she wanted to look stunning tonight, it was a formal party, to be sure, but the mission didn't call for her to be stunning.

'_Liar.'_ A voice in the back of her head told her. _'You know exactly why you want to look stunning.'_ But Rose dismissed the voice.

Opening the door a crack, she sneaked into the hall. James was facing away from her. He heard her coming and spun around, hands falling to his side.

'Blimey.' He blurted out.

'Don't you dare laugh.' Rose tried to lighten the mood.

'You look beautiful.' He said.

Rose couldn't help the blush that creeped into her cheeks.

'_You don't look to bad yourself.'_ The little voice in the back of her head said before she could stop it. But looking James up and down, she had to agree.

James was dressed in a black suit that was one of her fathers. It was simple, white shirt, blue tie, but there was something about it, something in how the jacket was fitted, she decided that made him striking.

* * *

James was keeping up the act quite well. Seeing him talking to the people around him without a care in the world, Rose could easily believe that he was who he pretended to be. He could have acted anything and she would have believed him. He looked so comfortable in his surroundings, maybe he was just that good at acting, maybe this is the sort of environment he did grow up in, Rose never thought to ask. 

'Rose, there you are.' James saw her and grinned. He placed a hand on the small of her back to guide her into the circle. He introduced her to the people he was talking to and she politely shook their hands.

'And this is Rose, my fiancée.' James said with a smile.

'Oh, you're engaged then.' One of the women pointed out the obvious. Rose nodded in reply.

'The wedding is…?' One of them asked.

'Not planned yet.' James finished. Rose couldn't help but notice how closely he was standing to her.

'I've got to say, Rose.' One of the elder women said. 'James is quite a catch.'

Rose blushed furiously. Her first instinct was to deny it, but then she remembered that they were "engaged." 'Yes he is.' She said with a hint of pride, squeezing his arm gently and glancing up at him.

'So, how do you know Kirsten?' And elderly man by the name of Arthur asked.

'We did her a favour a while ago.' James answered. 'And we've kept in touch ever since.'

Rose couldn't believe how easily he lied, twisted the facts to suit his own purpose.

Rose glanced at the watch on James's wrist. She nudged him then nodded to the watch. When he saw the time, he excused them from the group. She led him away from the crowd and onto the balcony.

'8:35.' Rose stated, leaning on the railing. 'We should be getting a message from Robert any minute now.'

James reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out a phone. He waited for a moment before it vibrated. Pressing a few buttons, he read the message and retold it to Rose.

'No sighting of any ships on the radar telemetry. If the Emperor was going to show, he would be here by now.' He said. 'So, we've got the rest of the night off.'

'Well, we can't just leave. That would draw too much attention.' Rose answered. She shivered as a cold breeze wrapped around her, her skin prickling with goose bumps.

'Are you cold?' James asked.

Rose nodded. James began to unbutton his suit jacket, but she waved a hand dismissively. 'It won't help.' She said. 'I've been cold for two years, nothing warms me up.'

He hesitated for a moment, but continued to unbutton his jacket. He shrugged it off and placed it on her shoulders. Rose took a deep breath as the material warmed her cold skin. Gripping the front of it, she pulled it tighter around her. She smiled up at James in thanks. Gingerly, he put his arm around her shoulder and drew her closer. They stood like that for several minutes until Rose looked to the sky.

'They're beautiful aren't they? The stars.' She said. James looked up and smiled.

'Yes they are.' He agreed.

'I used to think about how beautiful they are. Now I just think about what threats come from which one.' Rose rolled her eyes. 'I'd love to know what people used to think they were, before they realised they were just balls of gas.'

James stared at her for a moment then looked skyward, eyes darting around like he was looking for something. He stopped and grinned.

'You see those ones? Over there.' He pointed to a bright cluster of stars just above the tree tops. 'That's the Gemini constellation.'

'Right there?' Rose pointed at the same stars.

'No, just the ones between those two.' He pointed with his index and middle finger. 'And those two.' He pointed again. 'Not the one to the left. That's Venus.' He dropped his hand to his side and gave a contented sigh and then spoke.

'The Gemini constellation resembles two stick figures. Twins, actually, holding hands. There is Pollux, Castor, Gamma Genorium, Mu Genorium and dozens of other ones.'

He sounded like he was naming old friends. He bent his head down close to Rose's and pointed at the star he told her was Venus.

'And Venus. In Ancient times, the people noticed that all the stars moved in the same direction, back when they thought the universe revolved around them, but they saw the planets that moved like this.' He drew a loop in the sky with his finger. 'They couldn't understand it. They called them the "wanderers." That's where the word planet comes from.'

The wanderers, it suited them. Rose smiled and turned to look at him. Their faces were much closer than when she had thought, they were only inches away. She could feel his breath on her face, warming her skin. There was something happening in his eyes, he looked like he was fighting a worm in his mind. But then he blinked and it was gone.

She saw him move. His head tilted forward, just a fraction of an inch. One blink-and-you'd-miss-it movement of his head closer to hers.

Rose's eyes fluttered closed. The arm that was around her shoulders tightened slightly as she felt him lower his head. His lips touched hers, just for one moment, he grazed her lips before pulling back.

Rose opened her eyes, he hadn't moved, his face was unbelievably close to hers, but he was hesitating. Rose shut her eyes and closed the gap between them. His lips were warm as he kissed back. She turned so they were facing each other, still connected by the kiss. The arm that was on her shoulders dropped to the small of her back as he held her tight against him.

His kiss was soft and hesitant at first, like he was scared he would hurt her until she began responding. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Rose stretched up and wrapped her hands around his neck, brushing her fingers over his nape. The jacket, that was on her shoulders, crumpled forgotten to the ground.

Rose made a noise, somewhere between a moan and a sigh as he cupped the side of her face, rubbing his warm hands over her cool flesh. A finger fell into the hollow behind her ear and she shivered, not from the cold. The cold was gone now.

Rose's hands trailed down his torso, coming to rest on his chest. She pushed her palms flat against him, revelling in the double heartbeat she found.

_Double heartbeat._

Her eyes snapped open and she took a step backwards, crushing the jacket underfoot, arms falling to her side. James straightened and looked her in the eye.

She stared at him for a moment before she opened her mouth.

'I'm sorry.' She breathed. Then she turned and ran.

* * *

The cold water splashed her face. Leaning on the basin, she didn't care that it drizzled down her neck and wet her dress or that it was ruining her hair, all she could think about was her stupidity. 

'_You idiot.'_ She scolded herself. _'You can't just close your eyes and pretend that you are kissing the Doctor.'_

James wouldn't understand. He couldn't understand, nor could she tell him about it. She wasn't even sure if they were allowed to kiss, being field partners and all.

A hand unconsciously trailed up to her face and she touched her lips. His taste was still on her. Doctor or not, he still made her feel warmer than what she'd felt for two whole years. She missed the touch of the Doctor, his hand in hers, the bone crushing hugs after being saved from an almost certain death. No matter how good James was, he would always be living in the Doctors shadow. That's what she was afraid of, that for the rest of her life she would be comparing people to him, and no one could live up to the Doctor.

Still, Rose was falling for James.

* * *

The Doctor stared at Rose as she ran away from him. He stood still, long after she had left his sight. Bending down, he picked up his jacket and dusted if off. He mentally kicked himself for being such an idiot. Sliding his arms into the jacket, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. 

He had done the most stupid thing imaginable. He had kissed Rose Tyler.

And she had kissed back.

All through the night, he had made contact with her a lot, a hand in the shoulder or the waist. His previous incarnation had awoken with senses, a need to touch, a need to feel, he had just treated Rose as an extension of his own body. He needed her touch, her hand in his, a hug, a kiss.

She had kissed back. No matter how much he berated himself, the fact still remained that she kissed back. She kissed back when he was little more than a friend to her. But why?

And of course, the last thing that stung him. She ran away from him. She had broken the kiss and ran. The Doctor tried to remember what happened in the last moments of the kiss; he found it hard, considering he was slightly preoccupied at the time. The Doctor closed his eyes and forced himself to remember. She had wrapped her arms around his neck; he distinctly remembered shivering as she rubbed the soft hair there. She had rubbed her hands down his sides then up his torso. She had gently pushed her hands into his chest. Then-

She broke the kiss. The Doctors eyes widened in realization. She had placed her hands above both of his hearts then broke the kiss. She must have felt his heartbeat; it was the only explanation for it. The Doctor ran a hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Did she know?

No. That wasn't exactly the reaction he would be expecting if she did. There had to be something else, something different.

She said she was sorry and then she ran.

Sorry for what? The Doctor didn't know. Sorry for the kiss? Sorry for running?

Thinking back to the last moment of the kiss, the Doctor, for some strange reason, got a hinted feeling of betrayal. It wasn't his emotion; he knew that for certain – maybe it was when his fingers brushed against her temple…. It was _her _emotion, burning in her mind.

Betraying whom? Again the Doctor didn't know.

It must be for Mickey, he died so recently that she must be feeling it for him.

'_It could be you.'_ The voice in his mind spoke.

Impossible. He was making up excuses again. He had done it so many times now, imagining something Rose did or said meant what it didn't, his mind was playing tricks on him.

He didn't want to leave. He wanted her to still love him, but the regeneration had changed everything. Even if he did tell her, he would still have a different face and she might not be able to cope.

'_She coped last time.'_

True, but this time would sting a lot more.

It wasn't until the Doctor was inside, talking with the other guests that he realised that he was no longer trying to find out if Rose still loved him, he was trying to find out if she would still love him with a new face.

* * *

_First ever kissing scene, I'm worried, please tell me how I went._

_This chapter is dedicated to Mushy who demanded a snog._

_Please review, I'll give you fairy floss on a stick. (I like handing out virtual treats. It's fun!)_


	9. The Hallucination

The Hallucination

They arrived back at Torchwood tower later that night to return for their clothes. There had been no mention of the kiss since they returned, and for that, the Doctor was grateful. It was an unspoken agreement, the kiss never happened.

The mission was a complete success, she said. Not like much could have gone wrong anyway.

The Doctor sat up in his seat as Rose handed him a thick booklet of paper.

'Welcome, James, to the wonderful world of paperwork.' She said sarcastically.

'Oh, joy.' The Doctor answered, his voice dripping in the same amount of sarcasm. He tucked the papers under his arm, eyeing the odd assortment of objects cluttering Rose's desk. 'What's all this?' He gestured.

'Well, not everything that falls from the sky is useful to Torchwood, you know.' Rose shrugged, as if it was obvious.

The Doctor frowned for a moment, then- 'Ah.' He smiled. 'Knicks and knacks?'

'And bits and bobs.' Rose agreed. 'Anything I fancy that will just be packed away into storage, I keep.'

'What's this?' The Doctor held up a palm sized piece of alien technology with three glowing lights.

Rose eased back into her chair, twisting a pen between her fingers. 'You're the genius.' She said. 'You tell me.'

The Doctor gave her a playful frown and turned the piece of alien technology over in his hand. He already knew what it did, but Rose was testing him. 'Fan shape indicates it should be held like so.' He held it in his hand. 'Very sensitive pressure pads, air is expelled through pipes here and here.' He pointed, and then he looked up with fake realisation. 'It's a musical instrument.'

'Very good.' Rose nodded with approval. 'You stroke the ridge to make the sound. You just have to be…'

The Doctor brushed his fingers across the lights. A long note echoed through the room.

'Delicate.' Rose finished. The Doctor played another note. 'Very good. You're a natural.'

He brushed his fingers over he lights again and smiled softly. Rose was staring at the object in his hand, a dreamy, far off look in her eyes.

'Ah, anyway.' The Doctor cleared his throat; he placed the instrument back on the table. 'I should get back, lots of paperwork to do.'

'Yeah, I suppose you do.' Rose said distractedly.

Taking one last look over his shoulder, the Doctor left Rose with her thoughts.

The Doctor shut the door behind him and shook his head. It had been foolish of him to play the instrument, but he was fairly certain that Rose didn't have it on her desk just because no one else at Torchwood wanted it, the technology, when reverse engineered, would make a pretty tight security system. No, she definitely _wanted_ the instrument near her, and the reason was as plain as day.

When he was half-way down the hall, he received a telepathic nudge. Just a little one, hardly worth mentioning, as telepathy goes. Just enough to let him know that the TARDIS wanted attention. He returned to his flat to drop off the paperwork then continued to the storage area where he had parked the TARDIS. He unlocked his ship and stood at the consol.

'What?' He asked impatiently.

The consol blinked in response. The display screen that was mounted to the side flickered to life, text streaming across.

'Oh, don't be like that.' The Doctor placed a reassuring hand on the controls.

More Gallifreyan text blinked angrily at him.

'Alright, I see your point.' The Doctor admitted.

The TARDIS continued to accuse him of forgetting about her.

'Well that's not true.' The Doctor said.

The consol beeped in response as the TARDIS demanded to be let out of the storage room.

'I can't take you into the vortex.' The Doctor said firmly. 'I've already disabled the time circuits; it would be too obvious for Torchwood.'

Another beep and flashing lights.

'Alright, alright, alright.' The Doctor held up two hands in surrender. 'I'll take you out around London tomorrow; it's the weekend so we'll be alright.'

The TARDIS accepted this compromise and replaced the angry beeps with a satisfied hum.

Exiting his ship, the Doctor stroked the blue painted wood of the doorway. 'London Hopper.' He teased. He only just moved his hand before the doors snapped shut in his face.

* * *

Rose moved her hair out of her eyes so she could feel as much sunlight as possible on her face. This was a first for her; she was willingly out of Torchwood and her home for the first time in a year or so. When she woke up this morning, she had an urge to go for a walk; she walked out of her house, down the road, into the centre of London, weaving in and out of shops and parks. At the moment she was wandering through a quiet park with only the birds for company and an old couple on the other side of the trees.

She was happy today, happier than she had been for a long time. She refused to believe that she was happy because of the moment she and James had shared last night, but deep inside her, she knew that it made her want to sing with joy. She sidestepped a tipped over bin with papers spilling out and ran a hand along a brick wall she was following.

There was a groan, not human, not animalistic, but mechanical, the grinding together of ancient cogs, it wasn't even of this world, it was foreign, no, more than that, it was alien.

It was a sound that Rose knew better than the beat of her heart.

A knot twisted itself in her stomach and a lump lodged itself in her throat. She felt like a hand had clamped over her heart, squeezing it, her chest ached and she couldn't breathe, all the while her head was spinning.

She clapped her hands over her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. She ran backwards, trying to escape the noise that had tormented her for so long, but her back hit a brick wall with a thud.

She slid down the wall, not caring that the coarse brickwork ripped her shirt. She pressed her forehead against her knees. Not today, not now, she was healing.

'You don't exist.' She whispered furiously. 'You're not really there.'

The groaning stopped, but Rose continued to mutter, 'You're gone, you can't come back.'

There was a creak of an old door and some footsteps; they paused for a moment then a sharp intake of air.

'You don't exist. Leave me alone. You aren't really there.'

Rose started rocking slowly against the wall.

'Leave me alone, you don't exist, go away.' The tears were running unchecked down her face. 'Don't touch me!'

There was a sharp rustle of clothing as a hand was jerked back.

Rose let loose a sob and hugged her knees tighter. 'Just leave me alone. Go away. You can't come back. You're not really there.' She clapped her hands over her ears and shouted at herself. 'Go away! Just leave me alone! Go away!'

She screamed until her voice was the only sound she could hear. Panting, she slowly pulled her hands away from her ears.

Silence.

She opened her tear stung eyes and took one last look at her surroundings. Rose choked back a sob as she ran for home.

She never noticed the papers that stirred from an artificial breeze that had so suddenly stopped.

* * *

Rose ran straight to her house, she didn't even stop for a breath, she just ran. She managed to fall against the doorbell as she let loose the tears that had been biting at her eyes for so very long. Her mother answered the door.

'Sweetheart, what's wrong?' She asked.

Rose sniffed and wiped away some tears onto the back of her hand. 'I had another hallucination.' She forced out.

Her mother nodded in understanding and pulled her daughter in for a hug. Rose cried into her shoulder as her mother murmured sounds of comfort that only a mother knows. After she had let most of it out, Rose made her way into the lounge room while her mother made some tea. Tod, her little brother with floppy brown hair was playing with toy trucks on the floor. He saw his big sister come in and sink into the lounge, still crying silent tears. Without a word being spoken, he crawled up next to her. He slid his tiny hand into Rose's just how she liked it when she needed comfort.

Rose smiled at her little brother and squeezed his hand appreciatively.

* * *

The Doctor flicked the last switch and slowly sank into the captain's chair. He stared at the blinking lights of the TARDIS consol, his expression blank. He rubbed a hand down his face. He was so close to telling rose who he really was; he could have just placed a hand on her shoulder and told her to open her eyes. But he hadn't, he had chickened out, done what Rose told him to do and went away. He could have told her, but he hadn't.

But the Doctor could feel that that moment was fast approaching.

* * *

Rose and James made a strange couple, Robert decided. Some times they acted like old friends that had known each other for years, even thought they only met a couple of weeks ago. Other times, Rose seemed so distant that it seemed amazing that anyone could get close to her. If you asked them, Robert was sure they would deny being a couple, but you would have to be a fool to not see that they ad feelings for each other.

As head technical advisor, Robert got to see a lot of Rose and James together. He reported directly to Rose and James was technically still part of his division. Sometimes they would just sit together in Rose's office, doing paperwork together even though James had a desk of his own. Other times they would sit in her office and drink tea while talking about everything and nothing. That was how Robert found them when he burst in very impolitely.

'Rose, we picked up something on G-scanner 39.' Robert announced. Rose got off her chair to let him use the computer. After some typing, he had the details on screen.

'Ground scanners? Aren't those the ones we use to scan Earth?' James leaned over to get a better look at the screen.

'The same, we have mostly got everything on Earth that we want, the G-scanners are mostly there just in case.' Robert frowned. 'I don't know why we didn't pick it up before.'

Out of the corner of his eye, Robert saw James find something interesting to do with his shoes. Didn't he get James to do some maintenance on some of the G-scanners?

'Where is what we are looking for?' Rose interrupted Roberts's thoughts.

'It's about two hours out of London, in an abandoned electronics factory.'

'What is it?' James asked.

'To be honest, I have no dies.' Robert sighed. 'There are about half a dozen inconsistencies with the data.'

'Inconsistencies.' Rose repeated.

'Well, it's not enough to say what it is, just that it's not from Earth.' Robert tapped on the keyboard. 'I think most of it is underground… hold on…Got it!' Robert smiled triumphantly. 'One large blip underground, about the size of a medium sized house and four smaller ones closer to the surface.'

'Sounds like a spaceship with escort. Can you get a visual?' Rose asked.

'Not on the big one, no, but gimme a minute.' More typing. 'Aha, twelve hours ago, one of the blips was above ground, I might be able to get a picture from our satellites… there.' Robert pointed at the screen. A picture of a grey-silver ship appeared on screen. Two wings protruded from the side of the ship, each holding a large engine. It looked sleek and mean and very advanced.

'Jack.' Rose whispered so quietly that Robert had to strain to hear it.

'I'm sorry?' James asked.

Rose shook her head. 'That's a Chula ship.'

'Chula? I don't think that's in the database, how do you know?' Robert flicked a pen around his fingers.

'I saw one on my travels.' Rose said hurriedly.

'You saw a spaceship when you were travelling.' James said quietly. 'What kind of travelling did you do?'

'It's not important.' Rose shook her head again and it was clear that the subject should not be approached again.

'Can you get thermal imaging?' James changed the subject.

'Hold on.' Robert typed on the keyboard. A red bar moved across the screen, illuminating several red blobs that were roughly humanoid.

'When was this taken?' Rose asked.

Robert checked the date. 'Two hours ago, around three o'clock.'

'They're still here.' Rose muttered. She stared at the screen for a moment before something in her clicked.

'Right, James.' She straightened a new authority in her voice. 'Get suited up, full field gear.'

James cocked his head. 'Rose?'

'Those guys landed on my planet.' She pointed at the screen. 'And unless they can give me an overly compelling reason for them to stay, I want them off.'

She headed towards the door. 'We just got handed our first real assignment. Get ready James.'

* * *

_I am so sorry that it took so long, things have been pretty hectic around here, but they do have good internet, its just finding the time which is a hassle. Thank you for everyone who reviewed, you guys are awesome, please keep sending them in!_

_The next bit will be a series of about three (maybe more, maybe less) chapters as part of the overall mission, so, they will be short, but hopefully frequent. Hopefully..._


	10. The Mission Part 1: I care about you

The Mission: Part 1: "I care about you."

The trip out of London was mainly in silence. James was driving and he kept his eyes fixed on the road. Rose pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the window to watch the countryside speed by.

The ships were Chula; there was no mistaking the spaceship that she and Jack had danced on in the middle of the blitz.

_Jack_

She had already weighed up the possibility that the former time agents double was here on earth, but dismissed the thought when she took another look at the facts:

Jack only had one spaceship, and judging by how hard he said it took to get a hold of it, he would never be able to get four of them, let alone a larger one.

Jack worked alone before he met the Doctor and her, he wouldn't need an escort.

And Jack wouldn't be stupid enough to go above ground without the invisibility activated.

So it had to be the Chula. Rose frowned, trying to dig up old memories.

Jack said the so-called "Chula warship" was the last one in existence, and the Doctor had also acted like the Chula were extinct. Then again, parallel world, anything was possible.

For James' first proper mission, he seemed remarkably calm. No, calm wasn't the word, he was focused. His eyes didn't wander from the road and his mouth was set in a firm line. His grip on the steering wheel seemed natural at first glance but Rose could see his hands were whitening at the knuckles. This was his first mission and he aimed to impress, the sheer mass of pressure placed squarely on his shoulders would make most men feel giddy.

'_Pleases, James.'_ She thought to the figure beside her. _'Don't do anything stupid.'_

The object in her lap beeped as the palm pilot sized GPS navigator indicated they were nearing their destination. She studied the screen then the road ahead of them.

'We're close.' Her voice was hoarse after so long in silence. 'It's just down that street. Park down there.'

James pulled the car into the road Rose had pointed to which peeled off to the right and slowed to a stop.

Rose glanced at her partner, James hadn't moved from the driver's seat. He just sat there, staring straight ahead.

'You alright?' She asked him.

'Yeah, yeah.' He shook his head. 'I'm fine.'

Rose gave him a pointed look. 'James, if you're not ready for this, its okay, I can handle this alone-'

'No.' James interrupted firmly. 'I'm going to do this.'

Rose smiled. 'Then let's do it.'

* * *

They snuck out of the car and moved towards the warehouse was on the other side of the next row of buildings.

'Streets are empty.' James noticed.

'What ever the Chula have been doing here, it's spooked everyone.' Rose said, eyeing the locked doors and boarded windows. 'Looks like everyone that could packed up and left, everyone else is trying not to be noticed.'

James frowned. 'This isn't right.'

They were startled as a bleeping suddenly interrupted the stillness of the evening. A mobile ringtone.

'Why is Robert calling us? I said no communications.' Rose said. James patted the black utility vest that Rose wore the twin of.

'It's not me.' He said simply.

Rose frowned. 'James, what are you talking about?' He stared back blankly and shrugged. Very slowly, Rose placed a hand over her pocket.

_Bleep-bleep._

She snapped the hand away. Her hand had buzzed.

She slowly withdrew the slim black phone that she had kept with her for so very long now. She couldn't even bare to look at the screen. It ringed again. Rose slid it open and held it to her ear.

'Doctor?' Her voice cracked with emotion, if she had been looking, she would have seen James stiffen beside her. 'Doctor.' She repeated. She turned to look at the warehouse they were approaching, as if it held the answers.

Suddenly, the speaker crackled to life and an alien voice filtered through the white noise. It clicked and roared at her. She jumped and stared hard at the ground, concentrating on making sense of the noise. It was a blend of a form of speech and a mechanical whirring.

'Rose.' James was standing close to her, she met his eye. He held out a hand and she slowly handed the phone to him. It wasn't until he was turning the phone over in his hand and listening to the voice that she realised she had handed over her second most prized possession and she didn't even know why she had.

'This phone isn't even on.' James stated. 'How do you get a phone call on a dead phone? And why do you carry around a phone with no battery in the first place?'

Rose didn't answer, but snatched the phone off of him. She slid it back into her pocket, ignoring the noise.

'Rose.' James started.

'It's called Om-Com, the Chula can do it, speak through anything with a speaker.' James started to talk again but Rose talked over him. 'The Chula are just trying to scare people off, let's get on with the mission.'

She marched off towards the building where they could get a view of the warehouse from the outside. James continued after her in silence.

* * *

Wedged between two buildings, Rose was very aware of how close James had to stand to get a good view of the warehouse, even with the bulky vest; he had to stand pressed up against her back. Desperately trying to distract herself, she pulled out a pair of upgraded Torchwood issued binoculars and aimed them at the warehouse.

'No visible signs of forced entry, there is a wall broken in on the North-West corner.' She observed. 'But it appears about three or four months old.'

'Any guards?' James asked, his eye pressed against his own pair.

'None that I can see; switch to thermal imaging.' She twisted dial and her vision changed. Several humanoid shapes of a mass of red and orange, shivering and moving appeared. 'Two guarding the entrance, two more patrolling the third level, I'm reading a few more below ground, but not enough information to get a visual. We go in through the front, take out a guard each then move below.'

'No.' James said slowly. 'Look again, second level, West side, one guarding the fire exit, another maintenance elevator near it leads straight to the larger ship underground.'

Rose paused before taking another look to confirm what James had said. Sure enough, there was one mass of pulsation red guarding the exterior staircase.

They ascended the stairs in perfect silence; they reached the top in unison and took up positions on either side of the door. James glanced inside then snapped his head back outside. He signalled to Rose: "One guard, facing away."

Rose nodded in understanding, lifting her gun up, ready to attack, but James held up a hand, telling her to stop. He mirrored Rose's action, he stealthily moved behind the Chula guard. He lifted his gun above his head and brought the butt down on the skull of the Chula warrior. The massive figure collapsed against him and he dragged it into a nearby empty room.

'What was that?' Rose said as soon as he set the alien down. 'I had the situation under control, James.' He didn't answer. 'You don't have to baby me.'

'Rose.' He started, looking at her in a way she was not used to. 'I care about you. If anything happened to you, I'd…'

He trailed off; cutting himself short like a lump had lodged itself in his throat. He stared into space a little to the left of where Rose was standing.

Rose took a deep breath. 'You'd die.' She finished for him.

'No.' James said simply, then he met her gaze with such intense emotion it almost sent her reeling. 'I'd live. And that would be far worse.'

Rose couldn't help but stare back at him; no one had talked to her like that since-

A loud crash jolted them back to the present, reminding them of the dangers they were about to face.

James bent down beside the unconscious warrior. The Chula was large, standing head and shoulders above James and nearly twice his width. It was covered in a thin layer of brown hair and dressed in a black combat uniform with strange symbols on the arms. The lower half if its face was covered by a mechanical device with blue tubes running down its chest to a thick belt that whirred and clicked.

'Breathing apparatus.' James observed.

Rose picked up the large weapon the Chula had been holding and passed it to James. 'Any ideas?'

'It sends a massive electric shock through the body, absolutely huge, enough to light half a city.' He said in amazement. 'That kind of shock would take a year for the heart to start beating by itself; you'd have to spend a year on life support to stay alive.'

'Conclusions?'

'They didn't come here in peace if that's what you're asking.' James shrugged. 'Their own guns probably wont work on them, the apparatus would absorb the energy.'

'So, don't get shot.' Rose said, moving towards the maintenance elevator. 'They bring weapons that lethal to my planet; I take that as an act of aggression. Let's chase these aliens out of here.'

* * *

_I told you I'd get it up soon!_

_Thank you to the people to reviewed last chapter, you guys are awesome. _

_Please keep on reviewing, I love to hear from readers, constructive critisism is gladly accepted, reviews brighten up my day! If you review, I'll send you a virtual piece of brownie!_

_Next chapter will probably be up next weekend, if not sooner._


	11. The Mission Part 2: Run!

The Mission Part 2: "Run!"

The elevator was old fashioned, with a concertina gate that had to be drawn across the lift. It rattled and creaked as they went below ground. Rose glanced at James who was standing beside her. She smirked and he grinned back. Here they were, two field agents of the most top secret organization on the planet and they were standing in an elevator!

The lift slowed and with one final _clunk_ they reached the basement. Guns aimed at anything that could be a threat, the waked in military precision out of the elevator. Hiding in the shadows, Rose pulled out the GPS navigator, they were close. She signalled to James: "Lead on, to the left."

The hallway was dank and dark; a pipe running along the roof had sprung a leak and was steadily dripping water onto the concrete floor. Rose noticed everything, every movement that could become a threat, every object that could be used to their advantage.

James approached a door and turned to Rose, eyebrows raised. Rose nodded, if Robert was right, the larger spaceship would be right through that door.

_Click_

The door opened with relative ease, James slip through and Rose followed after. Rose's breath caught in her throat when she saw what lay before them.

The level they were on was supposed to be the bottom, but the Chula had been busy. The door opened onto a rocky ledge that dropped away to reveal a massive cavern that had been literally dug out of the rock. The walls were covered a maze of thin walkways, tunnels that led to anywhere dotted the paths. It must have been three stories deep, probably more, and in the centre standing proudly was the Chula mother ship. If Jacks ship had looked mean, then this ship was rage. Gunmetal black, it was built for speed, its nose was sharply pointed, and its aerodynamic shape provided the ultimate manoeuvrability in the air. Even though it was stationary, it still buzzed like an angry hornet. Around the mothership, the rest of the Chula were rushing about, carrying objects and organizing them in a pile. These Chula were different to the one guarding the stairwell, these were dressed in dark blue overalls and carried no weapon. They wore a silver breathing apparatus and the tubes running down to their belt were painted with spiralling black. Three of them where dressed in black though, identical to the one now lying unconscious upstairs, armed too.

'What are they doing?' Rose asked in confusion.

James stared at the sight below, 'Their building something, that ship must be designed for transporting weapons in a war.'

'They're building weapons?'

'If they are, it's going to be massive. Hold on.' James snuck a little bit closer to the edge; Rose joined him, being careful to stay hidden. Something was not right.

Rose gasped and put her hand to her chest.

'What is it? What's wrong?' demanded James.

Without a word, she traced her neck, bringing out a fine chain, attached to it was a small Yale type key. Her most prized possession.

She held it out in front of her then dropped her hand away. It stayed there, hovering in midair like an arrow pointing toward the ship. James looked at it in confusion.

'Why do you…' He trailed off, realising that this was neither the time nor the place. He turned to the Chula ship. 'That must be a giant magnet down there… Oh, no, this is not good.'

'What?' Rose asked, tucking the precious metal under her shirt again.

James took a deep breath. 'You know that gun the guard was carrying? It was able to generate a massive amount of electricity in a small amount of space and time, granted, it has to discharge the build up immediately, but, the thing is, it could aim it at something; stop the electricity jumping to the nearest thing and get it to hit the desired target. I thought that was amazing, but this…'

'What?' Rose repeated.

'They chose an electronics factory, why would they do that?'

'Well, I don't know, it was empty?' Rose guessed.

'No, because it was packed full of things that store electricity, batteries, electronics…' James turned again to look at the Chula. 'They are planning on generating a huge amount of energy, absolutely massive, enough to wipe out the entire human race.'

'But how would they do that?' Rose stared at the operation going on below, the operation that could spell the end of her planet.

'Electricity can jump though the air; lightning and the likes.' He explained. 'If they send down the electricity when they are in orbit, they can spread it across the entire planet, aim it at the people, they'd all be wiped out.'

Rose stared for a moment. 'So, not a peaceful people then?'

'Not today, no.' James answered.

Without hesitation, Rose strode to the edge of the rocky outcropping they were standing on, into direct view of the Chula below.

'Rose, what are you doing?' hissed James, furiously.

Rose shrugged, 'Giving them a chance.'

She raised her gun above her head and fired a stream of bullets into the rocky roof. All the Chula stopped and stared at her. She dropped her gun to the ground and held out her hands, showing she was no longer armed.

'Warriors of the Chula!' Rose shouted, her voice carrying through the huge cavern. 'I am Rose Tyler, senior member and field agent of the Torchwood institute, representing this planet and its people. On their behalf I order you to leave this planet.' She paused for a moment, and then continued on. 'We are not the backward civilization we appear, we are armed. If you choose to ignore this warning and attack us, then beware, for we can defend ourselves.'

The Chula turned to each other, a whirring and clicking sound indicated they were talking.

'I don't think they're buying it.' James muttered.

One of the guards nodded to another and with that, they began to move. All three charged at the wall, for a moment, Rose thought they were going to run into it, but at the last second, they leapt at the wall, jumping at least three meters up the rock, gripping the surface with their large hands. With apelike agility, they began scaling the wall.

Rose did the maths, she gave them ten seconds.

'Alright, let's go.' Rose smiled at James as one only can under the threat of impending death.

Just as James turned to the door, one of the Chula still on the ground pointed at the still open door. It snapped shut in his face.

'Uh, little problem here!' James called to Rose.

'Damn it!' Rose swore. 'Alright, what do we do?'

James shook his head in helplessness. Rose quickly considered her options.

Stay here and fight it out, almost certain death, they wouldn't last long against those weapons.

Stay here and surrender, again, almost certain death, the Chula wouldn't want little messengers running off to warn others.

Get out and run for it, Rose didn't know what would happen there, nor did she know how to do it.

But it was too late, the Chula were already here. They climbed up on the rocky outcropping, crushing Rose's gun underfoot. James raised his gun and opened fire on the approaching enemy. The Chula he hit stumbled backward slightly, they can't ignore physics, but were otherwise unaffected by the bullets.

They marched slowly forward, driving the pair of them backwards against the wall. Rose heard a snap and a low buzz. James hurled something at the nearest Chula. It wasn't until it made contact with the breathing apparatus that Rose saw what it was. A Moore grenade, an electromagnetic bomb named after its inventor. The Chula stumbled backwards, a noise like wheezing and coughing erupting from the breathing apparatus. For a moment, Rose felt the exhilaration of victor, until another Chula turned and fired at it. A glorious stream of electricity shot from the weapon and into the breathing apparatus. The Chula went stiff as it was engulfed in energy. The mechanics crackled to life, the low hum showed it was working.

"_Okay, maybe not so prefect, but good try, James." _Rose thought.

The Chula were closing in on them, nothing else could be done, nothing. Backed up against the closed door, Rose suddenly felt so weak, so helpless. Beside her, James's eyes were still darting around, he wasn't giving up hope. Rose squeezed her eyes shut, if she was going to die, the last thing she sees isn't going to be her murderer.

She heard the high pitched wire of the gun charging up. She waited for the end.

She felt a strong hand hold her tight.

She jerked her head around at them.

They said one word.

'Run!'

Then he pulled her along beside him. Rose snapped back to reality. James charged to the left, away from the Chula. He reached the edge of the outcropping and jumped down, pulling Rose behind him, landing squarely on the narrow ridge, Rose almost landed on top of him. Together they ran across the ridge then veered off into a tunnel that gradually sloped upwards.

"_You're loosing it, girl.__" _Rose thought to herself. _"You've thought about it so much, you just think it's the same. Anyway, he's holding your hand wrong."_

Automatically, she shifted her fingers in his so they fit just right.

She dismissed the thought of the obvious similarities, what else do you do when you experience something you can't explain?

But she couldn't help but notice, as they flew through the tunnel, that when he said "Run", for a moment, just one moment, he had a northern accent.

* * *

_Dun dun dahhhh! That was one of the first things I thought of when I was planning this story... ah..._

Right, so, thankyou for all your wonderful support through this story, you guys have been great, and probably pigging out on the virtual treats I've been giving you for reviewing.

Please review, even if it is seven pages old, I love to hear your responses! If you review, I'll give you a really thick slice of chocolate mud cake...mmmm...

Next chapter might take a while, but hopefully it will be up soon. Thanks for reviewing!


	12. The Mission Part 3: The Plan

The Mission Part 3: The Plan

The Doctor would have kicked himself if he wasn't on the run. He blamed it on instinct, on force of habit. Rose was panicking and he did the only thing that came naturally. He comforted her. For him, that meant holding her hand in his.

It was the last second that saved him. Just as his fingers touched hers, he realised what he was doing. It was too late to stop it completely, but it gave him enough time to change the order of their fingers.

Darting up the tunnel, he held her hand tightly, he didn't want her to let go, not again.

Her grip loosened, so the Doctor loosened his, giving her enough slack to pull away if she wanted to, if she didn't want to hold hands, then so be it, but she just shifted her fingers into a different position, the right position.

In a strange moment of clarity, the Doctor realised they still fit.

But why was her hand so cold?

They fell into the same pace they used to have, two years of practice and they were professionals, after so long away, they could still do what they do best. Running. Together.

No, the Doctor corrected himself, not together, Rose was doing what she did best, he was a stranger, a tag-along, an impostor.

The Doctor made a sharp turn, jerking Rose along behind him. A thin vertical tunnel, just wide enough to stand up in, housed a ladder leading towards the surface. Identical to a dozen that they had already passed.

'Up, we've got to get up.' He muttered to himself. He let go of Rose's hand to grip the ladder, wishing he didn't have to. 'Come on!' He shouted at Rose.

'This isn't going to help; you saw how fast they ran up the wall!' Rose shouted back, but nether-the-less, she climbed up behind him.

'That's their domain; this is ours, hence, our strength, their weakness.' The Doctor explained. Above them, the rock turned into cement of a human built style. 'Aha!' The Doctor said triumphantly. 'I think, we've come up inside a cupboard.'

He hooked his arm around a rung and leaned over to the door which blocked their way. He tried the handle. Locked.

'Do you think you could try a little of your… persuasion?' Rose asked from below.

'Gimme a tick.' The Doctor shoved his free hand into his pocket. He took a long, hard look at the lock. He pulled out his hand and had a look at what was inside. 'Cotton buds.' He put his hand back in and pulled out something else. 'Three dice.' He tried again. 'Shoe laces.'

'What on earth have you got in there?' Rose asked incredulously.

'Bits and pieces.' The Doctor shrugged, trying for a fourth time. This time, he pulled his hand out slowly; he already knew what was in it before he opened his hand. He released his fist. The TARDIS key. He put it back in his pocket before Rose could see.

'What was that?' Rose asked.

'House key.' He replied. Not exactly lying there.

'Aha!' He opened his hand again, inside was a single piece of copper wire. He frowned. 'You got a bobby pin?' He called down to Rose.

She looked confused for a moment, but they reached up above her ear and pulled one out of her hair.

The Doctor tried to ignore how the bleached lock of hair she released hung down and delicately framed her face. He tried to ignore how her hand brushed his so tenderly as she passed over the pin. He tried to ignore the way her eyes lit up and she smiled slightly at the thought of adventure once more.

He failed.

The Doctor slid the wire and bobby pin into the keyhole. One handed, he jiggled them around in the lock until the door gave a satisfying click. The Doctor grinned as he clambered across into the room the door opened into. He turned back to Rose and offered her a hand to get out.

'Ladies and gentlemen, thankyou for travelling with Torchwood Air, I hope you enjoyed the flight.' He put on his best captain-over-the-intercom voice as he helped her out.

The Doctor almost winced at his last statement, but then again, he did feel like he was flying.

The room they came into looked like an abandoned office, several boxes were strewn across the floor.

The Doctor slid the wire and pin into the other side of the keyhole and, after much jiggling, the door locked.

'That's not going to hold them, believe me, the wall won't stop it!' Rose said exasperatedly.

'They've got to find us first.' The Doctor made himself busy locking the other door.

'Right, so now, we've locked ourselves in an office and it's only a matter of time before the Chula find us and fry us.' Rose summarized. 'Sounds fun.'

'Mind if I keep this?' The Doctor held up the bobby pin.

Rose shrugged, she didn't really care. The Doctor was happy though, he liked the way her loose hair moved as she turned her head to look at him.

Looking at him.

Staring at him.

"_Look away, Doctor.__"_ The Doctor scolded himself. _"All you got to do is move your head, move your head now."_

Through some force of will, the Doctor managed to turn his head away. He mentally ran through their scenario

They were locked in an abandoned office.

In an abandoned warehouse.

In an abandoned part of town.

With several Chula desperately trying to find them.

Carrying very deadly weapons.

Rose was right, this would be fun.

Strictly speaking the weapons weren't deadly to him, they would hurt, oh yes they would hurt him, but they wouldn't actually kill him. Rose on the other hand…

'You got any gum?' The Doctor asked suddenly.

Rose raised her eyebrows. 'Um, yeah.' She started digging around in her pocket. She pulled out a packet and chucked him a piece.

He sat down on one of the cardboard boxes and chewed thoughtfully. He glanced up to see rose staring at him expectantly.

'What?' he asked

She raised her eyebrows again. 'What do you need the gum for?' She asked.

The Doctor shrugged. 'Oh, I do my best thinking when my mouth is moving.' A trait similar to his last incarnation, of course, that ones thinking had to involve talking at a hundred miles an hour and combined with his oral fixation, it formed a new habit.

Rose nodded but then blushed slightly. The Doctor didn't get it, why did she just blush? It was the kind of tinged red cheeks she got when someone said something by accident that could be taken another way.

The Doctor thought back to their first mission.

Oh.

His eyes widened. He avoided eye contact and stared at the floor, chewing his gum forcefully.

Once the flush faded, Rose pulled out the packet again and started chewing her own piece. She sat down next to him as they chewed.

'You do realise,' Rose started, 'that we are sitting here, chewing gum, while the world is about to be taken over by Darth Vader wanna-be's.'

The Doctor smiled but in a split second, the smile vanished. 'Darth…' He muttered, he scanned the room.

Rose shrugged. 'Yeah, you know,' she placed a hand over her mouth and mimicked the sound effect of his rebreather. '_Coopa, coopa._ With the breathing apparatus.' She glanced over at the Doctor, a fierce look in his eye. 'What?' She asked.

He straightened suddenly and grinned like a manic. He turned to her. 'Rose Tyler, you are brilliant!' He grabbed her shoulders and, before he could think, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. 'If I can just find the right equipment…yes!'

He knelt down beside the box they were sitting on and began rummaging through it.

'It's the breathing apparatus, Rose, that's the way to do it, and it's been staring me in the face!' The Doctor was grinning, he knew what to do now and he loved his rush, this thrill.

Rose just smiled and shook her head, eyebrows raised.

'They've got a very specific wavelength to extrapolate the raw energy and use it as a functioning source while at the same time keeping them alive, they only overlap by a few divisions of the multiplex!' He shouted, as if it was obvious.

Rose just stared at him, a slight bemused smile on her lips. 'What?'

He spun around, amazed that she didn't understand him, but then he remembered, human, ah. 'It means that there is a broad frequency I can use to cancel out all electronic activity in the breathing apparatus. If I can get to a P.A. system with the right equipment, I can broadcast the sound! Shut them all down!'

Rose smiled. 'You can do it then?'

'Oh yes.' The Doctor grinned. 'But I do need to find the right things.'

He turned back to the box and pulled out some rolled up blueprints. He hit her playfully on the head before spreading them out on the floor.

'Look for a main office or a manager's office or something. Anything that could have a P.A. system.' He instructed. Rose knelt down beside him and scanned the layout.

'Here.' She said, pointing.

'That's two floors up, North corner, near a staircase, level three.' The Doctor read. 'Right, but I need to stop for some equipment before we get there.'

'Hold on, level three, that's the one with the two patrols, how do we get past them?' Rose asked.

The Doctor had completely forgotten about them. 'Moore grenade.'

'But they'll just charge up from their guns.' Rose reasoned.

'Not if we hit them both then disarm them.' The Doctor frowned and patted his vest. 'I've got one left, you?'

'Two."

'Right.'

The Doctor glanced up at Rose, who was studying the blueprints hard.

'What?' He asked.

'I think I know why there are two patrols on that level.' She answered quietly.

'Why?'

Rose pointed at one of the rooms on that level. It was marked, "Secondary storage".

'What about it?' the Doctor shrugged.

'That is just the size that would fit a Chula warship.' Rose said softly.

'So they are guarding a ship?' The Doctor said.

Rose just nodded.

The Doctor chewed his gum forcefully as a plan formed in his mind. 'We stop for equipment here, and if necessary, here.' He traced a path on the blue prints. 'Take the stairs up to the next level, steer as far away from the ship as possible, thermal image to determine the patrols position then take them out. I'll construct it inside.'

'I'll guard the entrance.' Rose said.

'No, I-'

'James.' Rose interrupted. 'I'm going to stand in that hallway and defend you while you build a device to kick their butts.' She stood and smiled. 'That's an order.'

The Doctor grinned. 'Yes sir.'

Rose checked over her weapons while the Doctor unlocked the door with a piece of wire and a bobby pin.

In the distance, thunder rumbled. The Doctor cocked his head to listen.

A storm's approaching.

* * *

Rose signalled: _Three, two, one._

In unison, they hurled the Moore grenades. The bombs connected. The Chula staggered back. Rose came out from behind the corner and attacked a guard. She hooked her foot around its leg and flipped it backwards. She grabbed the weapon from its hands and hit it on the head with the butt. Beside her, the other guard crumpled to the ground, James standing over it.

Rose jerked her head towards the door. 'Go, I'll defend.' James looked uncertain. 'Do it!'

Before leaving, James handed her his P-90, she took it gratefully, she'll need it. James's dark orange hair hung loosely down in front of his face in that particular way that made Rose's insides squirm, but this is neither the time nor the place. Rose gave him a pointed look, reluctantly, James headed inside with the black bag full of equipment.

Too late, Rose realised that one of the Chula was not unconscious. Its hand went to its belt before she could knock it away. With a well placed kick, the Chula lost consciousness, but a red light at its belt blinked threateningly at her.

'James! We're going to have company!' She called to the closed door. 'One of the Chula activated a distress signal!'

'Damn it.' James swore. 'Can you hold them off?'

'I've got one Moore bomb, a holster of P-90 clips, a 9mil and a knife.' Rose check listed.

'Bullets don't hurt them.' James warned.

'But they do slow them down. I'm going to the end of the hallway; you build that thing and fast!' Rose took off at a jog and took up a position. She waited.

A pair came up the stairs. Rose emptied a round into the first one, they staggered back. Rose took the opportunity to disarm them. She pulled the pin of the Moor grenade and hurled it at the second Chula. Rose struck out with her boot, tripping up the first one. They stumbled backwards, knocking into its choking partner; they fell down the stairs with a loud crash. Rose ran to the railing, grinning.

_Two down._

She returned to the hallway and loaded her P-90. Two more ascended the stairs while another tree came up the elevator. They were coming up too fast.

She fired a round into the nearest Chula who stopped for a moment. A noise came from behind and she whipped around. A Chula was moving towards a door labelled "Managers Office". In one smooth motion, she pulled the knife from her belt and threw it. The Chula roared with pain. She fired another round into the guard walking towards her. _Click._ Out of ammo.

She dropped her P-90 and ran towards the guard. Yanking the blade from its back, Rose threw a punch into the open wound. The Chula buckled slightly. Rose took advantage and sliced one of the tubes running to its belt. Blue fluid poured out and the Chula spluttered. Rose felt the exhilaration of victory.

Suddenly, the Chula lashed out and grabbed Roses knife welding hand. It squeezed her wrist and excruciating pain shot through her arm. She dropped the knife and tried to wriggle free of its grip, but it was too strong. The Chula; though its grip was firm, as it bent down to pick up the knife, its actions were slow. Rose winced as more pressure was added to her wrist.

With her last strength, she grabbed at a second blue tube. The flow was cut. Rose struck out with her boot at the weakening Chula; it got knocked backwards, falling against its allies, taking the knife with it. Rose reached for her last remaining weapon. A 9mil pistol. She withdrew it and aimed at the approaching enemy.

'James! You've got twenty seconds maximum!' she shouted. She hoped it would be long enough.

She fired on the Chula till the pistol went dry. Nothing left. She threw the gun away.

The Chula raised their weapons and charged them, a mechanical, threatening voice coming from the apparatus.

Rose smiled. 'I kinda figured that.'

Arms wide, she accepted what was coming.

Blue light.

Pain.

Nothing.

* * *

_Oh, I am so evil. This is my first cliffhanger like this! Dont worry, the next one will be up relitivly soon._

_Please review, I love to get reedback from you guys._

_Thank you so much people who reviewed last chapter, reviews make me write faster!_

_If you review this chapter, I'll send you an jam dounut!_

_I'll also like to hear what you guys think will happen next!_

_Thank you all._


	13. The Mission Part 4: Full Circle

The Mission Part Four: Full Circle

Emotions.

They define a being. Some say the defining point of a sentient creature is their choices or their abilities, but it is really how they react in  
situations. Two of his greatest enemies had all their emotions removed, and it made them evil. To look at the face of a child whose family you have just slaughtered and feel nothing, it was chilling to the bones. The Doctor could feel nothing. He could no longer distinguish between the screams of the dieing Chula and the screams in his mind.

His eyes were blank. His face was devoid of emotion.

He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. Before he released it, he was already running.

His fingers trembled as he tried to unlock the door. Twice he nearly had it only to loose his place because of his shaking hands. The door finally clicked open.

The Doctor had long abandoned coherent thought. His mind no longer recognized words. His only thought was an overwhelming need, a need to see her, healthy and happy, and the heart-wrenching, despair that would follow if he did not.

He saw her crumpled figure lying among the bodies.

_'Please, let her not…'_ But he couldn't even finish the thought.

He fell to the ground beside her, his breath catching in his throat. He moved so he was cradling her limp head in his lap. Her face was streaked with sweat and grime. The electrical energy had ripped a hole in her black top where it hit her gut. Ugly, scorched flesh was revealed. Scarred by the electrical burn, it was red and mottled. The Doctor gasped and his fingers hovered shaking over he wound.

The Doctor didn't cry, he just stared at her limp form. He trailed his trembling fingers though her hair and caressed her face. Her  
skin was cold like she had been dead for years.

He closed his eyes.

It had happened again. It had happened to him so many times in nine hundred years that he thought he had become desensitised to it, to death, but death had taken hold of her finally, his Rose.

He knew it would come eventually, it always did, the pains of them leaving him, either by choice or force or death, all his companions left eventually, but not yet, not before she knew, it wasn't fair.

The Doctor opened his eyes. Trembling, he leant down towards her.

It made sense now.

Gingerly, he bent down and kissed her, just pressure. Her lips were cold and unresponsive against his. He pulled away slightly.

'A year is nothing to me.' He whispered. He lowered his head again and touched his lips with hers. He parted hers and blew softly.

Outwardly, nothing happened, just a man lamenting over his fallen friend but the Doctor felt the change. A year of life left his veins and entered her body though a lover's kiss, a kiss of life, life again.

Full circle.

The Doctor's eyes snapped open and he withdrew as he felt Rose stiffen. She stared blankly at the roof, her face contorted in fear and agony. She arched her back off the floor, every muscle in her body tensed as life ripped though her, her mouth open in a silent scream.

A soft golden glow lit the hallway as her skin knitted itself together, her heart found a new source and began to beat, life coursed though her veins.

With a gasp, she drew her first breath and the light dimmed. As she released it, she breathed a single word.

'Doctor.'

'Oh, Rose.' The Doctor was shaking all over. 'Its okay, its okay, I'm here.'

Rose, wide eyed, tried to look at him, but her eyes were unfocused. 'I can't see.' She was panicking. She lifted her arm to feel for him. The Doctor complied and wrapped his arms around her while her hands linked behind his neck. The long expected and much needed hug.

'Doctor.' Rose murmured into his chest. He pulled back slightly, unsure of what he should do.

_'Tell her, tell her, tell her.'_ The voice in the back of his mind chanted.

Rose looked up at him blinking rapidly. Her pupils shrunk and dilated as they became focused.

'James?' She frowned. She suddenly became aware of their position and pulled away. 'Sorry, I, I thought you were someone else.'

Now is not the time.

'Are you alright?' The Doctor made no attempt to keep the emotion from his voice.

'Yes.' She answered uncertainly. She shifted position. 'No.' she admitted.

Slowly, she lifted her head and looked down at herself. She fingered the torn material of her shirt and brushed her fingers over her now smooth, healthy stomach. She looked up at him, her mouth parted and brow furrowed in confusion, asking for an explanation.

The Doctor was caught off guard. 'Uh.' Was all he could manage as his mind worked furiously. 'I thought you were dead. I shut down the Chula and you were just lying there.' His eyes stung but he refused to let the tears fall at the memory. 'There were these lights, a thousand glowing lights that flew up the hall. They surrounded me, then around you.'

'Nanogenes.' Rose said softly.

'What?' The Doctor asked.

'A bit of Chula technology I've run into before.' Rose answered.

'You know, someday, you're going to have to tell me about those travels.' The words were out of the Doctors mouth before he could stop them.

'Yeah, someday.' Rose said thoughtfully.

The Doctor was taken aback. She would? That meant she was opening up, letting go.

_Moving on._

The Doctor forced the thought from his mind.

'Are you alright?' Rose asked him, concerned.

'Me? I'm not the one who got hit with enough volts to light half a city!' The Doctor said.

'No.' Rose admitted. 'But you are the one who saved my life.'

The Doctor straightened. How did she know that?

'The nanogenes needed a living human to know how to heal one.' Rose explained, and the Doctor released a breath he didn't know he was holding. 'If you weren't here, I would have stayed dead.'

Something clicked in Rose's mind as she spoke. It finally registered with her that she had died, that she had come that close to being wiped from the face of the planet.

'Oh my…' She faded off, gasping for breath. She squeezed her eyes shut and released a sob. The Doctor pulled her towards him and slowly rocked as she cried into his shoulder. He put an arm under her legs and one around her back. He stood with Rose still clutching to his chest.

'Come on.' The Doctor said softly. 'Let's get you home.'

'It was horrible.' Rose choked out as he began walking down the hallway.

_'I know.'_ The Doctor thought to himself.

'Thank you.' Rose said softly.

'For what?'

'For being there for me.' The tears had run dry now; all that remained was complete exhaustion. 'I'm so glad I met you.' She said sleepily.

'Yeah,' The Doctor said, smiling, 'me too.'

It was only then, as the Doctor made his way through the dank, abandoned warehouse, carrying Rose in his arms, that he realised.

Her skin was warm.

* * *

'Mr Tyler!' Rachelle quickened her pace to near a jog to catch up with her boss. 'Mr Tyler!'

'Its getting late, Dr. Pines, you should have left by now.' Pete said.

'Yes, yes, I know, but I just have to show you something.' She said, jogging to keep with his pace.

'I've told you before, Dr. Pines,' Pete Tyler said without turning around or slowing 'Anything Torchwood related can be run through Rose now.'

'I know, sir, but she's recovering in the infirmary now and I thought you might want to see this for yourself.' Rachelle explained.

Pete finally stopped. 'What is it?' He asked impatiently.

'The medical report of one James Samuels.' Rachelle handed him a blue folder. 'Taken just after his and Rose's mission this evening. Sir, it's impossible.'

Curious, he opened up the folder and flicked though the pages. His eyes widened.

'Are these for real?' He asked, his voice faltering ever so slightly.

'I checked twice to be sure, sir.' Rachelle nodded. 'They are accurate.'

Pete stared at the record. 'Have you shown this to anyone?' He asked softly.

'No, sir, I thought-' Rachelle started.

'Have you shown it to Rose?' He interrupted forcefully.

'No, sir.'

'Good.' Pete snapped the folder shut. 'Don't.' He tucked the folder under his arm and began walking down the hallway. 'And I want to see James Samuels in my office immediately.'

* * *

_I'm so sorry everyone! I know I promised it to be soon, but then I got sick in bed, so I couldnt get to the computer to type it all up, but its finally here! Now, I have some good news and I have some bad news._

_Bad news first, the next few weeks are going to be really hecktick for me, and I know I wont have much time to write, so I am putting this story on hold for a while. I'm really sorry, but, as some of you know, I'm on a student exchange at the moment, and my brother and sister-in-law are coming over this week to take me home, but first we are showing them the sights, then when I get home, I'm going to be hounded by my friends and family and school teachers are going to be pileing the work on me, so I wont have much time to work then either, but after the rush, I'll make sure I put up a chapter or two._

_Good news, I am planning on making a sequal! Th__e plot bunnies got a hold of me, and they wont let go. If you see it, give it a read!__ Its going to be called Knowing Rose Tyler (original, aint it?) and it wont be up for a very long while as it is still getting planned and I have to finish this one first as well. Also, I have to rewrite some of this story to make it more sequal friendly, and also add more scenes in that I thought of after the story was uploaded. I know I dont like rereading something if its been updated, but I encourage you to give it a look, especially if you want to read the next one. Also, it means I'll have no typo's! Yay! There are a few in this story that drive me nuts. _

_Anyway, enough of my mindless babble, I hope you enjoyed the story, please review and thanks to those that did! (Also, I'm interested in what you guys think the rest of this story is going to be about, and the next one! They facinate me!)_


	14. Interrogation

_Will no one accept the mission to Arcadia?_

_I will. _

Fire and ice and rage. This wasn't meant to be. He couldn't stop it. The first hit, a woman, sobbing.

_Theta! Theta, help me. Theta!_

The blow stuck. It cannot be undone. Screaming, billions of voices crying out in terror. They are calling for him. Begging him.

He can do nothing. Only watch.

_Theta!_

The Doctor woke with a start. He sat up and threw the sweat covered sheets to the foot of the bed. Breathing heavily, he rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. The nightmares were becoming worse. He had forced himself to sleep tonight; giving a year of his life to Rose exhausted him. But he couldn't escape the dreams.

He stared at distaste at the red glow on his bedside table telling him it was three twenty-five in the morning.

The bed creaked as he stood and walked to his kitchen. He gave his striped pyjamas a shake to stop it getting stuck to his chest with sweat.

Standing over a fresh cup of tea, he leaned heavily on the kitchen bench. The nightmares were getting far too furious. This was his third time up since he tried to get some sleep. He was never supposed to spend this long out of his home universe. He was expecting to be back by now. It was damaging his mind. As a Time Lord, he needed to see his possible futures, to be in tune with the universe, but this was not his universe, he had no mental access to this vortex. Before the War, before the nightmares, his dreams were sprinkled with flashes from Time, but he couldn't here, so he was left at the mercy of his memories.

At work, when he was with Rose, he hid his problems behind a smile, just like he used to, but his head still throbbed with the unnerving emptiness that should have been filled with all Time. The void of images had turned to static, white noise that ached.

The Doctor shook himself back to the present. He picked up his tea and threw it down in one gulp, ignoring that it burned his throat. The tea helped a little, to clear his mind, but he had to get back, soon. He didn't think he could last much longer.

An urgent beeping cut through his thoughts. The Doctor was slightly startled. He dug into the pocket of his trousers that he had just thrown on the floor of his bed room. He pulled out the black, Torchwood issued phone. It showed one message, from Peter Tyler's office, ordering him to be at Torchwood immediately.

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. He had been expecting this; he knew it was only a matter of time until Torchwood found out. He had to come prepared.

* * *

A folder slapped onto the table, followed by two hands belonging to an impatient Pete Tyler. 

'The tests have been run twice, the results are absolute.' He flicked open the folder with a deadly calm. 'You have two hearts, eleven strands of DNA, your body temperature is far below average and something is definitely wrong with your lungs, just to name a few things.' Pete folded his arms across his chest and stared at the Doctor sitting in the chair across from him. 'Who are you?'

'You know me.' The Doctor replied quietly, not quite meeting his eye.

'You're not James Samuels.' Pete stated.

'No,' the Doctor admitted. 'He never existed. But you knew me before him.' The Doctor raised his eyes to Pete's, he told the truth. 'I'm the Doctor.'

'No you're not.' Pete responded immediately with the disbelief typical of humans.

'I changed again, didn't Rose tell you?' He leaned back in his chair with a relaxation that surprised himself.

'How did you get back?' Pete's mouth seemed to be moving on its own accord, the question was bland, no emotion, it was not the question that he wanted to ask, but it was one that had been expected.

'Get me Rose's phone.' The Doctor said.

Pete frowned, but he tapped on the door and instructed to guard to do so.

There was a short silence as Pete thought over the past few minutes and the Doctor tried to fight the screams in his mind.

The guard entered, carrying a slim black phone that the Doctor had last seen disappearing into Rose's pocket on the mission.

'She was sleeping in the infirmary,' the guard said by way of explanation before leaving.

'What ever you want to do, you'd better do it fast, if Rose wakes up and sees that's gone, she'll start World War 3.' Pete seemed distracted, even if his tone was casual. 'You said that the breach closed itself, that you would not be able to open it if you tried.'

The Doctor nodded as he slid the dead phone open. 'But one wound in the universe is not necessarily connected to another. The breach in Torchwood tower would have been impossible to open; the technology that could have done it was lost, long ago.' The Doctor shut his eyes and forced the dieing screams of his people away that came with the memory. 'But the other wound, the one we fell through the first time - I thought I closed it for good, but, I found a way.'

The Doctor pulled the cover off the phone and unplugged a flat, black object and held it up to the light.

'You won't get it to work.' Pete said, disbelievingly. 'We've zapped that with every power source on the planet and some from a bit further, and we still couldn't get it to work.'

'Wrong sort of energy, it needs something from its home universe.' The Doctor held the gadget close to one eye.

'Well we haven't got anything.'

'There's this.' The Doctor slid his hand inside his pocket and withdrew a thin silver tube with a blue tip. The sonic screwdriver felt strangely ungainly in his hand. This regeneration had a far greater ability to use his bare hands, as even now, he wanted to just break open the gadget and hot wire it himself, but Pete was getting impatient. He pressed the tip to the gadget and felt the odd buzz in his hand. Putting the phone back together again, he ran the sonic screwdriver up the spine of the phone before tossing it to Pete, its screen now lit up.

Unexpectedly, the Doctor asked, 'If a cut is stitched, what remains?' as he leaned back into his chair again.

Pete looked confused for a moment, trying to grasp what exactly the Doctor meant. He still hadn't looked at the phone. 'A scar.' He said finally.

'And the scar stays closed, unless there's repeated movement, slowly working the wound open.' The Doctor gestured that Pete should look at the phone. Pete flipped over the phone and read the screen of the phone.

It read: 23 missed calls.

The Doctor paused until Pete gave a small nod of understanding.

'By all rights, it should have been impossible to do,' The Doctor continued as he ran a hand through his hair, 'but I had some help.'

Pete cocked his head at the last comment, but the Doctor continued on.

'My ship suffered incredible damage on the way over here; I've been spending every available moment fixing her up, getting her ready to go.'

Pete frowned. 'Ready to go?'

The Doctor hung his head. 'I can't stay much longer, Pete, I would stay forever if I could…' The Doctor trailed off, he raised a hand to his head and hit his temple softly, trying to push the memories out of his head.

Pete looked away in disgust; his suspicions confirmed. When he turned back to the Doctor, a sudden hate and anger burned in his eyes, such as the Doctor had never seen on Pete before.

'It was you the whole time.' Pete almost spat at the Doctor.

'Yes.'

'How long have you been here? Hm? Two months?' Pete was filled with fury, he continued without letting the Doctor speak. 'And all this time, you were content to just sit back and watch Rose, never telling her who you really were.'

'You don't understand.' The Doctor said impatiently, 'I couldn't just come back and take her away with me, it wouldn't be fair on her, or you, or Jackie, or Tod. I had to know if she-'

'If she what?' Pete thundered. 'If she still cried herself to sleep every night? Congratulations, you got your wish; you're just a two years too late.'

The last sentence hit the Doctor hard, 'She did cry?' he asked softly.

'Non stop.' Pete said simply. 'She accepted you were gone after Canary Warf, she still cried her heart out though, then the dreams came, then Norway, after that, she cried harder than ever. You have no idea what it was like to stand by and watch her.'

'Don't I?' The Doctor's voice was venomous. '7th of November, 1987, that's the day you died.' Pete visibly stiffened, but the Doctor continued. 'Hit and run accident. You were dead before the ambulance got there. Rose wanted to go back, hold your hand while you died so you weren't alone. There was an accident, you survived, it wasn't meant to happen.' The Doctor knew full well it wasn't an accident, but he had long since forgiven her. 'Then the Reapers came, they started killing everything. I ended up _dieing_ for her, rather than…' The Doctor trailed off, he ran a hand through his hair before continuing his story. 'But you figured it out, in the end. Courageous Peter Alan Tyler, the man without a penny to his name, struggling to support his six month old daughter and his marriage falling to pieces around him, ran out in front of the car that should have killed him.' Pete had long since given up trying to breathe. The Doctor was staring at the corner of the table while he relived the memory. 'Rose held your hand, like she said she would.' The Doctor closed his eyes. He breathed deeply before staring Pete in the face. 'Fate is cruel. Kills the brave man and leaves the cold-'

'Enough!' Pete thundered. The Doctor flinched in his chair, just slightly. 'You are to return to your apartment and continue to prepare your ship to leave. You are banished from Torchwood grounds; do not even try to approach my daughter. That is your punishment.'

'And what was my crime?' The Doctor asked. 'Loving her?'

'Hurting her!' Pete roared. 'And you'll do it again if you take her back with you. You'll leave her behind, or she will be stuck somewhere, or…' Pete faltered for just a moment. 'Or she dies and her last thought is knowing that you weren't there in time to save her.'

There was a long silence. The Doctor's head was spinning - the memories still fresh; he blinked a few times to bring Pete back into focus.

'Can I visit her?' The Doctor asked.

'No.' Pete said immediately. 'You are banished from this establishment.'

'That seems a bit harsh, what are you going to do, Pete?' The Doctor challenged with a ghost of a smile.

Pete raised his head so he was staring down his nose at the Doctor. 'You are an alien threat to my daughter, and unless you've forgotten, it's my job to eliminate threats to this planet.'

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. 'You'd kill me?'

'Don't challenge me,' Pete threatened. 'I'm a completely different man to the one who died in 1987. I don't want to have to tell Rose the truth with your dead body in front of her. Don't you love her enough not to do that to her?'

'Yes.'

'Did she ever know that? Did you ever tell her?'

'I ran out of time.' The Doctor looked away, ashamed of himself and his pathetic excuse.

'Rubbish. That's bull and you know it.' Pete hit the truth, better than he knew. 'In all that time you spent with her, you couldn't find one measly moment to tell her the most important thing she'd ever hear?'

The Doctor opened his mouth in desperation, he searched Pete's eyes for a glimmer of mercy, but none was there. Surrendering to his hard gaze, the Doctor hung his head, closing his mouth and his eyes.

Pete picked up the folder on the table and turned around. 'You're dismissed.' He moved towards the door.

'Wait!' The Doctor called after him.

Pete paused, but did not turn around.

The Doctor took a deep breath. 'Can I say goodbye?'

Pete didn't answer, nor did he turn around.

'I ran out of time before,' The Doctor tried, 'if you love your daughter, you'll let me say goodbye.'

Pete finally turned around, a merciful smile on his face. He held Rose's phone out to him. The Doctor took it and gave a weak, thankful smile.

'Thank you.' He said honestly.

'Go before I change my mind.'

The Doctor didn't have to be told twice.

* * *

**_Whew, what an intense chapter, thanks everyone for holding out through my break, I wanted to have this uploaded about a week ago, but I forgot how intense I wanted it to be. _**

**_Thank you so much for reviewing to everyone who did. Please review everyone, they brighten up my day and help me write! _**

**_Special mention next chapter to whoever can figure out the two reasons why I chose "James Samuels" as the Doctors alias._**


	15. Outside Visiting Hours

The Doctor slowly slid the door open. Looking down the row of beds, he saw a figure with blond hair apparently asleep, curled up three beds down.

An overstressed nurse hurried up to him. 'Excuse me,' she said, with just a little bit too much authority in her voice, 'it's five in the morning, hardly time to be visiting.'

'Its alright, Pete said I could be here.' At the sound of the Doctor's voice, Rose rolled over sleepily.

The nurse's eyes widened at the mention of Pete's name and nodded curtly. 'Make it _very _quick.'

The Doctor smiled and made his way over to Rose's bed.

'Hey,' He said quietly.

'Hey.' She answered sleepily.

He moved around her bed to sit on the edge, close enough to talk without disturbing the other patients, strategically dropping her phone into her open bag without her seeing.

Rose brought a hand up to rub her face, obviously unaware of her affect on the Doctor when she brushed his back with it.

'You're up a late.' She said, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

'I was…' The Doctor looked away. 'I was talking with your father.'

Rose raised her eyebrows. 'Really? What'd he say?'

'Nothing but good things.' The Doctor lied, but he couldn't bear to look her in the eyes.

The Doctor could see that Rose was about to pursue the matter, but as she opened her mouth to reply, she gave a small shudder.

'You cold?' He asked instinctively.

'Surprisingly, no.' Rose said simply. She lifted her arms off the bed weakly. 'My arms haven't been under the covers, so-'

She was cut off when the Doctor, acting on impulse, gently grabbed her hands between his own, his fingers closing over hers. Gently, he rubbed his thumb over her knuckle.

Stroke, stroke, stroke.

_It was cold on Women Wept, as they walked through the frozen waves, Rose instinctively reached for his hand. She knew him well. She knew that the cold did not affect him as much as it did her, her hands were about the same temperatures as his now, neither was sharing heat, but they both needed the reassurance that the other and only the other could give. There was no one else around for light-years, they were the only living beings on this planet. He allowed himself the guilty pleasure of slowly rubbing his thumb over her knuckle, constantly reminding him that she was here, with him._

Stroke, stroke, stroke.

_She looked up at him, puzzled by this intimate touch, but clearly enjoying it._

Stroke, stroke, stroke.

_She dropped her head against his shoulder as they walked._

Stroke, stroke, stroke.

She looked up at him, puzzled and slightly shocked by this intimate touch that was uncalled for.

The Doctor's hearts thudded in his chest. Her eyes were on him now, scrutinizing his face. His hands went slack, thumbs drawing back from her hands. Rose hastily pulled her hands away from his, tucking them under the covers and glancing around the infirmary, checking if anyone saw the intimate gesture.

As her hands disappeared beneath the sheets, an unwelcome thought forced itself into his mind.

_That could have been the last time you hold her hands._

The thought hit him like a blow to the chest. Like the vein connecting his hearts had snapped in two. He shifted slightly, so he was facing more to the side than looking straight at her.

He closed his eyes and another thought strayed into his mind.

_She is worth the nightmares. She made so many wonderful dreams._

Not every memory tormented him, there were good ones scattered among the pain.

Softly, Rose nudged him from beneath the sheets. 'You tired?' She asked.

'I haven't been sleeping well.' The Doctor admitted.

Rose cocked her head. 'Dreams again?'

He nodded mutely.

She gave a sympathetic sigh and rolled onto her side, so her knee was pressed against the Doctors lower back. 'What's wrong, James?' She asked, once she was settled comfortably.

'It's not just my family I dream about now.' He said softly. He paused for a moment and hung his head. 'I see you. You're there, by my side. But it goes wrong. The lights don't come. You stay dead. I'm a little too late or the Chula were a little too fast.' The words were tumbling out of him now, he couldn't stop them, couldn't think, not discerning what he should say from what he did. 'I see a thousand ways you could have died and it's always my fault, I couldn't save you, I couldn't save anyone.'

'James!' Rose interrupted harshly. 'I'm right here. I'm safe. This is ridiculous, you saved me, you're the one who stopped the Chula.'

'What if I didn't, Rose? What if I couldn't save you?' It had been an argument that he had frequently debated with himself. 'You're not safe with me.'

Rose looked incredulous. 'How can you possibly think that, James? I'm ten times safer with you as a field partner than anyone else.'

'Nothing is safe.' The Doctor muttered, and then his voice took on a thunderous tone. 'I let you die! You died, Rose, I wasn't fast enough and you died.' He was shaking, trembling all over, but no tears came.

Rose sat up in the bed and grabbed him by the shoulders. 'James, look at me.' He didn't, so she shook him demandingly. 'Look at me! I'm here, I'm safe, I'm alive. Even if the nanogenes didn't come, you would have saved the world.'

'You'd still be dead.' He said softly. 'I couldn't cope with that.'

Rose's hands fell from his shoulders, defeat written in her eyes. The Doctor gently pushed her down into the bed.

'Get some rest.' He said. He could tell that she wanted to fight, to convince him of what she thought, his tone left no room for argument. She wriggled underneath the covers and stared up at him. The Doctor opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally remembering the words he had carefully arranged.

'I'm putting an application in to be transferred.' He said, not meeting her eyes.

'What?' Rose was aghast; all thoughts of sleep had long gone from her mind.

'I'm moving to Torchwood Two, in Glasgow. They're working on reverse engineering a spaceship; I'm of more use to them.' The Doctor closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.

'You're needed here.' Rose was all but shouting.

'It's too late.' The Doctor shrugged, his voice hollow. 'Pete agrees, he thinks it's a good idea. I'm set to go, a couple of weeks from now.'

'No.' Rose said in disbelief. 'You can't do that, you can't.' She was practically screaming now.

At the other end of the infirmary, a nurse eyed the Doctor and Rose. She looked away and called to someone out of the line of sight.

'Doctor?' she called.

Instinctively, the Doctor whipped his head around to respond, but they weren't calling him.

'Doctor Pines?' the nurse called again.

The Doctor shivered slightly before looking back at Rose. He hadn't heard that word in so long, too long.

Rose was looking at him oddly, puzzlement creeping into her eyes. She glanced over at the nurse who had called, then back to the Doctor. He could see the wheels ticking in her mind.

The Doctor put his hand on her shoulder gently, trying to think of anything that would stop that line of thought. 'I'm sorry, Rose, I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore.' James would be meaning the missions, but the Doctor meant being this close to her, but not being able to hold her, touch her, love her.

Rose shook her head. 'You can't. You can't go. Don't, please.' She wasn't crying, but there was hurt in her eyes. 'Don't go, James.'

A young doctor in a lab coat, followed by the nurse approached them, brandishing a needle in one hand. The Doctor tried to protest, but the needle had already sunk into Rose's forearm.

'Amobarbital.' Dr. Pines explained.

'A sedative?' He asked.

'It'll help her sleep.' She turned to the Doctor. 'You shouldn't be here, she needs to rest.'

'I know.' He interrupted. 'Just, let me say goodbye.'

He was begging with his eyes, he couldn't just leave, not after so long.

'You have until she falls asleep.' Dr. Pines nodded and briskly walked away.

'_That wouldn't be long,'_ the Doctor thought, _'amobarbital works fast.'_

The Doctor turned his attention back to Rose. She had gone slack and her head rolled sleepily.

'I'm sorry, Rose. I have to go.' Pete wasn't the only reason. The silence was getting louder. It was getting hard to distinguish between memory and real life.

'Don't go.' Rose's words were slurred as if she found it hard to pronounce them. 'You're a good man, Earth needs you…' She tried to force her eyes open, if she could stay awake, then he wouldn't leave. 'Torchwood needs you… I… I need…' She trailed off, her body giving into the drugs that flowed through her system. Her eyes closed and her head flopped down onto the bed.

The Doctor closed his eyes against the tears that stung his eyes. He was doing it again, slipping away while they were asleep. But this time, he got to say goodbye.

He stood and moved a little closer to her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. He bent down close to her ear.

'Rose Tyler…' He whispered. 'I…I… I'll miss you. Goodbye.'

He turned and walked away from her sleeping form. A single tear burned down his cheek.

He was fighting it, when he should have embraced it.

He held it back, when he should have let it loose.

One thing's for sure, he was a coward, through and through.

* * *

_Okay, all who think the Doctor should be slapped say ay. AY! Sorry, but this is the way the story goes! Sorry for the wait everyone, but I wanted to make a start on some other stories. Please please please please please review! They brighten my day, and make me write faster!_

_Okay, the winner of my "who can guess why I chose the name James Samuels" is... No one! But a few did get close. The answers were: James Samuels has the same initials as John Smith, the Doctors favourite cover, and Samuels was Mickeys cover name when he was working in Torchwood in Army of Ghosts. People who got real close_ _were: **wyldcat **(who got Mickey) special mention to **Genne **who went to all that work to get those long name meanings but didnt get the real ones, **Won Wons Rose **(who got the initals) **Legolas0 **(who guessed it has something to do with Jamie McCrimmon, I think I started out on that thinking track.) and **bekett** (who got the initials)._


	16. Confusion

The Doctor was preparing the TARDIS, as promised; he found he had nothing else to do, confined to his apartment and ship, endless supplies of equipment and technology, but with all the advanced mix-matched machinery, he found himself replacing many of them, all the parts that could be spared.

He pulled apart the equipment of the short-range scanners, not that it was needed, but he felt compelled to. Damn this body and its urge to fix things.

He held up a small glass globe, containing a thick liquid, such a strange technology; he had almost forgotten how it worked. But it was too complex, too unneeded. He gently rested the ball on a nearby bench and reached for a motherboard beside it, it was the essence of humanity, complexity, simplicity, curiosity and necessity, all being poured into this device. He started connecting it into the TARDIS, wire for wire, link for link.

_Doctor?_

The voice came from behind. He whirled around and scrutinized the rest of his workplace, but no one was there, just an empty, metal chair. He shook his head slightly and continued to work.

_What're you doing?_

Her voice was layered with the same questioning and slightly annoying tone she used when she had to know everything he was doing to the TARDIS. 'I'm just replacing a few bits and pieces.' He answered, hoping that if he replied, the voice would stop.

It didn't.

_I'm bored__, Doctor, lets go rescue a planet somewhere. _

'I can't.'

_Why not?_

'You're not safe.' He shouted the last word, turning to where the voice came from. The chair was empty, she was never here.

He turned back to the device, forcing himself to work.

_I'd rather be out having adventures than stuck at home eating chips._

'Stop it.' He begged, to whom, he was not sure.

_I wouldn't miss it for the world, Doctor, you know that._

'Stop it!' He yelled at the empty chair. He panted, breathing heavily before turning back to his work.

His hands were shaking as he held the soldering iron, trying to connect the motherboard into place.

After the third drop of the silver liquid missing the mark completely, he gave up, chucking the solder to the table.

Fury built up inside him, unexplainable fury, but all aimed at himself.

He bared his teeth at the table cluttered full of equipment he was fixing. He yelled before overturning the table, the glass globe smashing on the hard floor and the liquid spilling everywhere. He rounded on another table, pushing everything off the bench, glass cutting his hands. He purposely grabbed a shattered glass casing and threw it to the floor again. He deserved the pain. The Doctor approached another table, his long going activity covered in a white sheet; he gripped the edge roughly before stumbling backwards.

He kept walking backwards until his back hit the wall. Sinking to the floor, he brought his knees to his chest, among the chaos he had turned his workplace into. The blood slowly dripped from his hands that were clasped around his legs, he let it fall.

He'd failed her. She wanted adventure, he'd shown her the universe, but now all she has is chips. He wanted to barge into Torchwood and bring her back with him, but his instincts told him that Pete Tyler was not one to make false threats. It wasn't his own safety he feared for; it was the imagination of Rose's face when Pete would show her his dead body, complete with two hearts. Pete wasn't a bad man; he was just protecting his family. He had done the same, once. Protecting them at all costs.

The reason he had hid, the reason he had lied to her was to see if she still loved him, to see if she had moved on. All this time the Doctor had thought that they were opposites, but now, he saw the truth. It was both. She still loved him, but she had moved on in life. She offered her treasured memories to him. No, not to him, he corrected himself, to James.

_I… I need…_

He didn't need to be a genius to figure out what she was going to say. She needed him. Stuff Pete…stuff Torchwood -

No…not him. She needed James. Not the Doctor, not the 900 and something year old Time Lord with a Binary Vascular system, she needed the 30 something year old human with a head for electronics.

A sharp pang of jealousy hit him in the chest and slowly worked its way into his throat, a taste like bile in his mouth.

Jealousy for himself? Was that even possible? Two hearts, one to love and one to hate.

No, James wasn't himself, James was nothing like him. But James was the one Rose wanted, not the Doctor, not him.

She had laughed, with James, not the Doctor.

She had invited James to her parent's house, not the Doctor.

She had fallen to sleep on James's shoulder, not the Doctor's.

She had kissed back, to James, not the Doctor.

She had clung to James after coming back to life, not the Doctor.

She needed James, not the Doctor.

His bloodied hand fell to his side, reaching for hers, but there was only empty air. She wasn't here. Desperate for comfort, he began to reach for her mind. She was asleep now; it would be so easy to slip inside.

No. The Doctor shut off the connection before he did damage. He had made his choice, whether it was the right one or not, it was too late. She thought James was going to Torchwood Two. Like Pete said, the return visit made the pain worse, he couldn't do that to her again.

She needed James, not him. Did that mean that she had moved on? If she was ready to fall for someone she thought was a human, she'd just as readily fall for a real human.

The Doctor rubbed a hand across his face, blood, sweat, grime and tears streaking his face. He smelt the sharp tang of salt.

'_When was I crying?'_ He asked himself, but then he realised, it didn't really matter, he was going, she was lost to him.

He was a fool. A Liar. A vow breaker.

* * *

Rose woke with a start from a very strange dream, a figure; huddled against the wall of a large room lit with golden light…a hand was reaching out and…

'_Funny how dreams slip away.'_ Rose thought as she rolled over. Her movements were lethargic; the sedative hadn't completely worn off yet.

Automatically, her hand trailed to her chest to seek the comforting metal, why, she did not know, she had been reaching for it less and less since… But the key was not there. Panic sieged her for a moment, before she realised that the hospital staff must have removed it when she was admitted.

She eyed her open bag resting on the bedside table. Not bothering to look through the bag, she merely shoved her hand inside.

'_Should be right on top.'_ She reasoned with herself. Her hand closed around the first object she felt, but it was not the key. Shaking, she withdrew her hand.

The phone was such a familiar shape; she had kept it with her for more than two years, but it had always been in the bottom of the bag, or in her deepest pocket. Never on the top.

Trembling, she turned it over in her hand. She went to slide it open, a habit she had formed with the dead phone. But the screen lit up.

Rose dropped the phone in surprise, but there was no mistaking it. The screen showed one bar of battery as it lay on the pillow. Briefly, she considered pinching herself to get out of this obviously tormenting dream, but something made her reach out, something made her take the phone and pressing buttons.

She couldn't believe it. It was a dream, all a dream, of course it was.

She was unaware of what she was doing; there were missed calls, from the TARDIS phone. And a message. She only snapped out of her trance once the message was opened. It was an old message. Years old.

_Rose._

_I will never forget you. You held my hand the way no one else ever could. You saved me from myself, you showed me a life I had taken for granted, you let me see the universe anew._

_If I could find a way back to you, Rose, I would. If I could finish my sentence, I would. If I could live out the rest of my days with you, I would._

_I will never stop missing you._

_Love,_

_Your Doctor._

Rose wept, for what, she was not sure. She blinked away her tears and stared at the last three words. They were not the ones she had wanted, but they seemed just as tender, just as true.

She fumbled with the buttons, desperately trying to reread the message, to burn it into her mind, but the screen went black.

'No.' she said in disbelief. 'No!' she sobbed.

But there was no hope; the battery had run out, with no hope of charging it. Again.

She couldn't bear to look at it; she threw it harshly into her bag. The tears were flowing now; she couldn't stop them even if she wanted to. She closed her eyes against the onslaught of tears, but they were already dampening her pillow.

She felt the tug of the sedative on her body again, calling her to sleep, she accepted it this time. Although, Rose told herself, she'd been asleep the whole time.

* * *

Rose woke. It was daylight now. Rose looked around the infirmary. She had spent plenty of time in here; she had transference to stop.

She grabbed her bag from the bedside table, glanced inside to check that everything was there before heading to her office to get changed.

When she had glanced into her bag, she noticed two things.

Her phone was on top.

And the screen was black, like usual.

Rose pushed open the door, not caring to knock, she was too angry to care.

'Ah, Rose, you're up.' Her dad said; false cheer in his voice.

Rose didn't smile. 'What was that about?'

'What?' Pete asked. He wasn't very good at acting innocent.

'You transferred James to Torchwood Two.' Rose's voice was deadly and calm.

'Yes.'

Rose clenched her teeth. 'Why?'

'He asked.' Pete lied smoothly. Innocence he couldn't do, lying he could. 'He couldn't cope with it.'

'I don't want to hear that.' Rose said simply.

'Sweetheart, he's-'

'Don't "sweetheart" me, Dad.' Rose thundered. 'Something's going on, something I don't like.'

Pete started at his computer, not meeting her eyes.

'I don't believe for one second that James can't cope with it.' Rose continued. 'He's the bravest man I've ever met. Now someone's going to tell me what's going on.'

Pete didn't say anything.

Rose turned to walk out the door. 'If you wont tell me, I'll find someone else who will.'

'What?' Her dad asked suddenly.

Rose reached into her bag for her Torchwood issued phone, but her fingers clamped around the wrong one. 'I'm going to call James.'

'No!' Pete said suddenly, rising from his chair slightly.

Rose smiled knowingly, that was the reaction she had been hoping for.

Pete hung his head, defeated. 'He's at his flat. Go, I… I think he's expecting you.'

Rose frowned, but nodded. 'Thank you, Dad.' She said with all honesty.

Pete smiled properly, for the first time in a long time. Rose made her way over to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. She smiled and left his office.

She had a date with a genius.

* * *

_There we go! The next (and last) chapter will be up fairly soon, I hope. And with it, comes a sneak peak at the sequel. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you are all brilliant! Please please please please review, it makes me write faster and it brightens up my day!_


	17. Together, forever once more

_Knock-knock_

No answer. She tried again.

_Knock-knock_

Still no answer. She stared at the Yale lock affixed to James' flat door. She grinned to herself; James wasn't the only one who could pick locks.

She reached into her hair and pulled out a bobby pin. The hair it released annoyed her, so she let down her ponytail. Sliding the bent pin into the lock, she jiggled it around for a bit, delicate movements, her tongue snaked out between her teeth like it always did when she was concentrating. The lock clicked and she pushed the door open.

His apartment was empty, cleaned out of any personal items; then again, they might never have been on display in the first place, Rose had never been in his apartment before, so she didn't know.

She wandered around the empty apartment, was she too late? Had he already moved without saying goodbye?

There was nothing in the apartment to give her a clue to his whereabouts, but as she was leaving, she bumped into the landlord.

'Ah, excuse me sir,' she asked politely, 'could you tell me where James Samuels is, from number 11?'

The man grunted. 'The weird one? He's probably down in the storage.'

'Why would he be there?' Rose asked.

The man shrugged. 'He's always down there.' He replied simply.

Rose thanked him and headed off in the direction he had indicated. In the distance, thunder rumbled. Rose cocked her head to listen.

A storm's approaching.

* * *

Rose jogged to the outside storage room. Dark clouds were gathering, foretelling rain. She saw a garage door with the number 11 fixed to it.

'Not gonna open it, not gonna open it.' She mumbled, trying to convince herself, for all she knew, this could be where he hid the only things that survived the fire that killed his family, his only memories of them, of home. But then again, if he was in here, she desperately wanted to talk to him.

Thunder rumbled again, getting closer.

She gripped the handle and pulled the door upwards.

It was there, glowing against the darkness, the unmistakeable words in the dim light.

_Police Public Call Box._

She could just make out the outline of the majestic box that she had come to call home.

She felt like a blow to the gut cut off her air, a sour taste filled her mouth and she had the urge to vomit.

'It's not there, Rose. She's in you're head.' She muttered, hot tears sliding down her face. 'Just blink and she'll be gone.'

She heard the soft hum coming from inside and shut her eyes at the memory. When she opened them again, it was still there.

Her head felt dizzy and she almost fainted, holding onto consciousness only by the fact that it was there. Either James was sick and didn't care for her sanity, or-

A feint creaking, the opening of an old door echoed through the small garage. A figure, silhouetted by the golden light from inside stood at the door way of _it_, the TARDIS.

Rose blinked furiously, willing her eyes to adjust. The figure was cleaning his hands on a rag. Slowly, he came into focus.

Rose released a sob.

The rag dropped to the ground.

James was standing there, right in front of her, standing in the doorway.

'Don't you dare.' Rose warned. 'Don't you dare!' She screamed and he recoiled. There was something in his eyes, willing her to understand. She took a step towards him and swung a hand at his face

_Whack!_

The slap connected to his cheek. He barely flinched. She wanted to hurt him. She wanted to make him pay.

'I'm healing. You had to go and break me again, didn't you, James?' Rose sobbed. 'I thought you understood. I thought you cared.'

'Rose…' He said softly, but Rose just crumpled to the ground.

He knelt down beside her and gently but forcefully pulled her against his chest in a hug.

Rose shivered and tried to fight him, but she had no strength. She gave up and rested her head against his chest, still shaking with sobs.

_Th-thump._

Rose gasped and looked up at the man holding her. He nodded solemnly. She raised a hand to his chest and pushed her ear to the other side.

_Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump._

Rose gasped and jerked away from him. Slowly, she lifted her hand to his face. He was the same man, exactly the same James she had known. It couldn't be-

She traced her hand along his jaw, brushing her thumb across his chin. His face was darkened by stubble that was just about to break through. Her fingers moved upwards and brushed his dark orange hair away from his face.

_Ginger._

She looked into his deep green eyes, so often cast away from her; never quite looking her in the eye. She saw something there, she saw a power, infinite wisdom and knowledge, eyes so old that have seen too much, seen the death of entire species, planets burning, eyes that never change, even from icy blue to chocolate brown to emerald green. There was a storm brewing in his eyes.

_An Oncoming Storm._

Rose couldn't breathe.

He looked down at her, the same caring, the same _love_ gleaming in his eyes.

'It's you.' The words were so quiet Rose wondered if she ever said them aloud. 'Oh, it's you.' She felt cold, frozen, unable to move, unable to think.

'What's my name?' He said gently, begging her. 'What do you call me, Rose, please…'

'You're him.' It was a confession, a song of joy, a sob of lost hope regained. 'You're the Doctor, you're my Doctor.' Rose wrapped her hands around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder.

The Doctor, nearly crying with the joy of holding her, felt his broken hearts mending at hearing his name from her lips. She buried her head in his shoulder and he bent his down to the crook of her neck.

She pulled back slightly. 'This isn't how I imagined it.' She admitted, sniffing back tears.

The Doctor cocked his head. 'How did you imagine it?'

'Something like this.' She leaned forward, touching her lips with his. Their first real kiss. The Doctor closed his eyes as she pressed into him. But it was just pressure, no feeling, no love.

Slowly, Rose pulled away, her hands dropping to her sides and leaving the Doctors embrace. She looked away, not meeting his eyes.

'It was you all along?' Her voice was detached, removed from herself.

'Yes.' The Doctor said simply.

'James never existed?' Rose choked back another sob.

'I'm sorry.' He answered. It was enough to say it all.

'Yeah,' Rose said, unconvincingly.

She nodded and closed her eyes, composing herself. She turned to look at him and jolted when she saw his face again.

'Oh, you look the same.' Rose didn't know what she expected. But it hurt, to see James and know it was the Doctor. She looked away again. She could feel him, bending low towards her ear.

He whispered. 'Rose Tyler-'

A hand clamped over his mouth.

'Not a word from you till I'm back in that box of yours, understand?' Rose warned.

She felt him smile against her hand and she removed it.

'I didn't even get to ask.' The Doctor said simply.

'You never have to.' Rose said softly. 'I made my choice and I'm sticking with it.'

'_You'll never be able to see her again, your own mother!'_

'_I made my choice a long time ago and I'm never gonna leave you.'_

_How could she? Her family was all she has, and she'd give it all up, everything she knows, just to stay with him._

'Doctor?' Her voice was cracked as it split through his memories. He shook is head to clear it. He had slumped over while the memory overtook him, falling onto Rose.

'Doctor.' Her voice was firmer, more confident. 'What happened? Are you alright?'

'I'm always alright.' He mumbled back, reaching up to massage his temple.

Rose grabbed his hand and forced him to look at her. 'James, what is it? What's wrong?'

The name fell from her lips so casually; he doubted that she even noticed.

The Doctor was decidedly silent. She didn't have to hear his troubles.

Rose's eyes fluttered closed and for a moment, the Doctor thought she was loosing herself in a memory like he had been doing so frequently, but she just looked like she was recovering from a dizzy spell, that she was wrapping her head around the truth.

'Why did you do it, Doctor?' She asked eventually. She closed her eyes for a moment and composed herself. When she spoke, her voice was still cracking. 'You were here for two months just…just watching me. You went to all that trouble to hide from me, when all I wanted was to be with you.'

'Rose,' He said gently. 'I care for every one of my companions, and I'm sure many of them have loved me before, but, but I never…' a lump forced itself into his throat. He tried a different approach. 'I won't just give away my hearts to anyone, Rose. Love is the only thing I've got left.'

Rose watched him speak to her quietly; she saw the same pain in his eyes that he always carried. All he felt he was is a pair of battered hearts in a broken man, but he was giving her what he had.

'I didn't want to hurt you, Rose, not again.' He continued. 'A lot can happen in two years, I had to know if what you said on the beach still stands.' The Doctor sighed and shook his head. 'I wanted to know,' he said evenly, 'if you still loved me.'

For some reason, Rose felt her hearts flutter as he said this. 'Oh, Doctor, of course I still-'

'But how do I know if you're telling the truth?' The Doctor said, exasperated. 'I know what its like to lie to yourself, day after day; you could be trying to convince yourself as much as me.'

Rose blinked back tears. 'But, but I do-'

'Rose.' He interrupted. 'You started falling for… James, if you could fall for him, you could fall for anyone. You were moving on.'

'Doctor, you are going to sit there and listen to me.' She said forcefully. 'I was attracted to James because he reminded me of you. Enough to make me smile but not enough to wrench my heart out every time I saw you. You, you told me to have a fantastic life and that was what I was going to do. But nothing on this planet, in the whole, stupid universe could have stopped me if I knew there was some hope of getting back to you.' She started holding on to his shoulders and arms, just convincing herself that he was there. 'And no one, no one could live up to you. James was always living in your shadow, every time I saw him fix something; I kept thinking how much faster you could have done it.'

The Doctor gave a sad smile, but there was something hollow in her voice. It was everything he wanted her to say and more, but somehow, something wasn't right about it, like she was convincing herself as much as him.

Tears started to creep out from her eyes again, and it wasn't long before her entire body was wracking with sobs. She fell against his chest and wrapped her arms around his body, anchoring herself to him, sobbing against his shoulder. The Doctor responded, holding her against him and rocking slightly. It was a familiar position, one they had assumed a few times before.

_He was sitting with her on the captain's chair. She had barely stopped crying since they returned, and he just sat, holding her while she wept. His leather jacket had seen better days._

'_He was a brave man, your father.' He muttered, quietly. 'Braver than most.'_

_Rose just kept on sobbing._

'_I'm sorry we couldn't save him, Rose.' He soothed._

'_It's not that.' Rose sniffed._

'_What?'_

'_Well, it is, sorta, but…but you died, today, you got eaten and it was all my fault.' Rose forced through sobs. 'You'll never forgive me.'_

_A part of him ached to think that all this time, she wasn't grieving her fallen father, she was grieving him. 'What? No, Rose, you can't think that.' He forced her head up to look at him and cupped her cheek with his hand. 'No matter what happens to me, ever, I will never blame you.' He said with all honesty._

_Her breathing was still ragged from the tears, but she nodded in his hand. But it only lasted a few moments before more tears broke through and she put her head on his shoulder and cried._

_The Doctor never thought that this particular regeneration would be the comforting type, seeing himself as more of a solid wall, hiding his emotions._

_It was only then that he realised, walls could be leant on too._

_Now there was another wall, white, a barrier across worlds._

_He pressed his hand to the wall, then his head, getting as close as he could but he could never get through. Only inches thick, but it separated them, for the rest of eternity. The walls have closed. No tears came, no tears to fight. He gave up, the coward that he was. _

_But he could still say goodbye._

The Doctor jerked back to the present. The memories were getting out of hand.

Rose raised her head and looked at him, oblivious to him zoning out before. 'Why did you come back, Doctor?' She asked steadily.

The Doctor blinked. That was not the question he was expecting. He just shook his head in confusion.

Rose sighed and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. 'You shouldn't have come back, Doctor, you keep moving on, you leave us behind because someday… I'm going to die someday Doctor, and you'll be left alone again. Why did you come back?'

The Doctor felt his hearts break. After all this, after all he had made her go through; all she cared about was that he was safe. 'I tried, Rose, damn it, I tried, but you were everywhere.'

Rose stared back blankly. The Doctor swallowed and tried again. 'Everywhere I went, every planet, every town, everyone, everywhere, two words followed me, Bad Wolf.'

'_I take the words; I scatter them, through Time and Space, a message, leading me here.'_

Rose shuddered and instinctively held his hand as he spoke, but she dropped it soon after.

'I thought it was a warning come too late, then I thought, maybe it's the opposite, maybe it's a message.'

'Saying what?'

'Telling me I could get back. I guess the Bad Wolf could see this happening, and protected a way back. It took me a while though, it wasn't until I regenerated.' He gestured half-heartedly to his face before running a hand through his hair, a movement Rose began to call familiar. 'I got a fresh mind, fresh ideas and more tactile at mechanics. In the bottom of the TARDIS, I found a link, a connection labelled Bad Wolf. The breach was permanently closed, but the _crack_, the one we fell through the first time, I could do it. The old girl took a beating on the way through.' He jerked his head behind him and Rose felt her heart lurch when she saw the TARDIS again. 'But she's just about set, ready to go.'

'Go?' Rose asked, full of worry.

The Doctor hung his head. 'I can't stay much longer, Rose.' He muttered.

'_Theta! Theta, help me. Theta!' _

_Billions of screams, cries for mercy, his people, his family, screaming inside his head. The pain was overwhelming. He could feel their pain, burning inside of him, magnified a billion fold. He was screaming too, lost in the pain. His cells were beginning to give way; he could do nothing, only scream. The noise was everywhere, screams of the dieing._

'_Theta!'_

He had fallen backwards as the memory had overtaken him, writhing on the ground as he relived that terrible torment.

'Doctor!' Her voice was so distant, so quiet. 'Doctor!'

A warm hand was placed on his forehead and he jolted back to the present.

'Argh!' He moaned, clutching his head.

'Doctor, tell me what's going on.' Rose demanded.

He winced. 'I've spent two months out of my home universe and no ones meant to do that.' He barely noticed, but his voice had taken on a Northern lilt. 'I could feel every one of my people dieing.'

'Doctor, can't you do something?'

'_Yeah, I'm doing it now.' He smiled, supporting his weight on one of the coral-like pillars in the control room. 'See, Time Lords have this little trick, its sort of a way of cheating death.' That was the best explanation he could give to prepare her, his mind was so scattered. 'Except,' He winced again. 'It means I'm gonna change. And you're not gonna see me again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go…'_

'_Don't say that…' She insisted, denying what she didn't want to hear._

'_Rose.' He interrupted and looked her in the eye, the face of a man who knows, without a doubt, that he is going to die. 'Before I go, I just wanna tell you; you were fantastic.' He smiled, meaning every word. 'Absolutely fantastic.' She was scared, he didn't want the last things he saw with these eyes to be her worried face, he wanted her to smile. 'And you know what?' She shook her head numbly. He grinned. 'So was I!'_

_He accepts the tingle at the corners of his mind. Immediately, the tingle becomes white hot pain, coursing through his veins. He doesn't scream this time, but the pain is just as real. He feels like his body is burning, but at least his mind isn't. He feels like molten gold has replaced his blood as the sheer power of the vortex steals another regeneration. He knows she's safe, but he hopes she understands._

'Doctor, can't you do something?' Rose repeated, pulling him from the memory.

'No.' He admitted. 'Not here. I need to get back.'

She understood. She helped him sit back up, his head still throbbing.

'And I'm coming too.' She said finally.

It took a moment for the words to make sense inside his mind. He couldn't deny her anything and he would not deny her this. But he could let her know everything. 'I can't come back here, Rose, I worked open the wound to get here using your phone, travelling back and forth will only irritate the wound futher. It's far too dangerous.'

'I thought it'd be something like that.' Rose sniffed.

'And?' He pressed.

'I'm still coming.' She shrugged casually. Perhaps a little too casually.

The Doctor closed his eyes against the pulsating silence in his mind.

'I'm gonna…' He pointed vaguely in the direction of the TARDIS.

'_Am I ever gonna see you again?' her hair was whipping around her face, her eyes still hopeful till the last._

_He wished he could keep her hoping, but it was impossible._

'_You can't.'_

'TARDIS.' He forced out. 'I'm gonna go lie down in the TARDIS. You, tell your parents and whoever else wants to know, go about your little domestic niceties, but be quick about it.'

He stood up sharply and turned to the TARDIS, only to be spun around and have his back slammed against the door by a distraught Rose.

'What got into you?' She demanded, shaking him slightly.

'I'm, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened.' He shook his head to clear it. 'It's just from being here, once we get back, I promise, I'll be fine.'

Rose nodded mutely. 'Okay.' She said, uncertain.

'The pain isn't as much when I'm inside the TARDIS,' the Doctor explained hurriedly. 'If I could just lie down in there for a while…'

'I get it.' Rose smiled.

Unwillingly, the Doctors hand trailed up and brushed some hair from her face.

'I missed you.' He said gently.

Rose's eyebrows shot up. 'Really? You could've said something earlier, you know.'

The Doctor hung his head. 'I know, I'm sorry.' He looked around at the TARDIS. 'Wanna come inside?'

Rose shook her head. 'Nah, I think if I went in, I might never come out.'

She looked almost scared at what she thought she might see, like she was expecting it all to fade away at any moment.

'Go on.' She gestured and smiled, but it was like something was missing. 'I'll get mum and dad.'

She turned around and began pulling a phone out of her pocket to dial.

'Rose.' The Doctor looked up. Rose looked back over her shoulder at him. He smiled softly. 'I need a hug.'

She grins at him. The biggest smile he's seen in a long time and one he had been yearning to see. She walks to him and lets him put his arms around her back, pulling her in for a tight embrace. It is only until she hears the reassuring double thump of his hearts beating that she returns the hug, wrapping her arms around his back, burying her face in his shoulder. He bends his head down to the crook of her neck, feeling her warmth surrounding him.

He doesn't want to her let go, not again, if he lets go, she might never come back.

She doesn't want to him let go, not again, if she lets go, he might disappear.

They stand there, holding one another, all Time could fade away, the world perish, but it doesn't matter, all that matters is that they're here, together.

They pull away after a long moment.

'Thank you.' He whispers.

She smiles.

* * *

_She's falling. She's falling towards Hell and there's nothing he can do. Only scream. She looks at him, begging him to save her, but it's impossible. Nothing can save her. He calls her name and he doesn't know why. She is screaming, so is he. He is sending her to Hell with the two worst demons, when did he loose control? When did the last great Time Lord fail?_

_She slams into a form, her father, keeping her safe, the way he never could._

_She turns and looks at him. She knows what's coming; she knows she's going forever, her eyes are still begging to be saved, but he can do nothing._

_Why is he so helpless?_

The Doctor woke with a start. He didn't know he had ended up dozing off. He ran a hand through his hair and he stood up and shook out tense muscles that occurred from sleeping on the captain's chair. Automatically, he began moving around the consol, flipping switches and turning dials.

He stopped when he remembered.

_Rose._

Was it all a dream? Was his mind playing tricks on him and twisting his perception until it was nothing more than torture for him?

_Knock-knock._

The Doctor spun around to look at the TARDIS doors.

_Knock-knock._

'D-Doctor? Doctor, open up.' A distinctive voice came from outside.

He heard the sound of a key being inserted into the lock and the door swung open slightly.

'Come on, then.' She urged, still not looking inside. Did she always sound so similar to the last regeneration?

He ran to the door, not willing himself to hope until he saw her face, so it was no wonder that when he emerged and saw Rose Tyler beside her mother and father that he burst into a grin.

Jackie was already in tears, hugging her daughter tightly. Pete just stood there silently, holding Rose's pink suitcase. The Doctor eyed the bad and looked quizzically at Rose.

'You never know when you need to be prepared.' She shrugged.

Jackie started talking quietly to Rose between sobs. Pete reached out a hand and shook the Doctors firmly.

'Rose made us promise, Doctor,' Pete said, passing over the bag. 'She made us promise that if you ever returned, that we would not hold her back. I… I broke that promise, because I was scared for her. I just wanted her to be safe.'

'I know.' The Doctor nodded. 'I did much the same.'

_The only way to keep her safe, the only way to protect her was to send her away. She refused, Point Blanc, she wasn't going to leave him. He didn't have the time to explain. He tried to distance himself from the family. This was their affair. He wasn't going to interfere. He tried to keep his mind occupied with the computers, reprogramming, but Rose was now speaking to her mother, and a few snatches of conversation filtered through the barrier he had set up._

'_But then I met the Doctor and… all the things I've seen him do for me. For you. For all of us. For the whole… stupid planet and every planet out there. He does it alone, mum.'_

_Oh, she understands, she knows it is the way he lives his life because there is nothing else, he does it alone because he must. But he must protect what he has left; the only thing left is her. _

'_But not anymore.'_

_She is backing away from her family, her life. She is always going towards danger, towards him. He has to stop this; he has to stop this now. He withdraws the disk from his pocket and shares a look with Pete. Neither of the women notices._

''_Cos now he's got me.'_

_In a split second, he looped the chain around her neck, sealing her fate. She spun around to him, surprise, shock, hurt, all burning in her eyes for the moment he saw them. Pete activated the teleport and they were gone._

_Why did it surprise him when she returned moments later?_

'Doctor!' Rose said firmly, drawing him back to the real world.

He had doubled over; hands on knees, almost falling to the floor as the memory over took him.

'I'm alright.' He said hastily. Rose had her hands on his shoulders, concern in her eyes.

'I think you should get the TARDIS ready.' She said gently. He got her meaning.

'Take care of her.' Pete ordered as the Doctor made some hurried goodbyes, eager to get back inside the TARDIS. He nodded and slipped inside the doors.

'Guess this is goodbye then.' Rose sniffed back some tears.

Her parents nodded in understanding. They knew their daughter well enough to know that they could not have stopped her if they wanted too. Rose ran to them for one final embrace, hugging them hard. She kissed them both.

Pete held on tightly and spoke quietly. 'The Doctor really cared about you. He didn't want you to get hurt again if there was another way, even if it meant leaving without you. He tried to protect you. But I thank him, I've had these extra years, with the daughter I never had, no one else got that.' He pulled away from the hug and put an arm around his wife. 'And I got Jacks back. I want you to be happy.'

'Thanks, Dad.' Rose sniffed, but she wasn't crying.

She turned around to the TARDIS and slid the key out of the lock. She pulled the chain back over her head looked one last time over her shoulder at her parents.

'Goodbye Mum, goodbye Dad.' She said. And she slipped inside.

Pete dropped his head and began to walk away.

'Pete.' Jackie said, eyes glued to the TARDIS. 'You might want to watch this.'

The consol was slightly different to how she remembered, the humming was lower pitched and the light was off colour, probably because she wasn't where she belonged. Rose almost let out a sob of joy at seeing her home again, it was slightly different, new controls added to the consol, and the floor was strewn with equipment and half assembled electronics.

But, most importantly, it was bigger on the inside.

However, Rose was not particularly captivated by the room at moment, because, as soon as she stepped inside, her back was slammed against the closed door.

The Doctor had pinned her to the door, his frame, slightly bulkier than last time, holding her in place. His eyes were blazing, this wasn't just the Storm, it was worse than that, so much darker and madder, this was a burning fire. He searched her eyes for a moment, before moving his head down, closer to hers. Rose's breath caught in her throat, waiting for what would come. Giving up, she reached up and pressed her lips to his.

Instantly, the Doctor's mouth came crashing down on hers. The kiss was fast and needy, like he had been starved of her for so long; it was almost punishment for making him doubt her. Rose fought back, equally as angry at him for leaving her and making her wait.

The kiss changed tempo and slowed, passionate but soft. The Doctor raised his hands to her face as he deepened the kiss. This was the man that she had loved for so long, but she had kept it hidden. He was kissing her, and it felt so right. He kissed her with such love that she felt she would melt on the spot.

Rose sighed softly and raised her hands to his hair, brushing her fingers through the ginger locks. She pressed herself against him, needing to be as close to him as she could be. She had missed him so much; he'd been gone too long.

His cool hands moved over her neck, rubbing soft skin as they moved. They wandered up and down her back and Rose let out a gasp. He brushed his knuckles softly against her jaw before pressing his palm to her neck, fingers falling behind her ear and burying in her hair.

Slowly, the Doctor pulled away from her lips and pressed his forehead against hers. Both of their breathing was ragged and warm on the other's skin. He bent down next to her ear.

He whispered.

'Rose Tyler…'

She held her breath.

'I love you.'

_The End._

* * *

_Thanks heaps to everyone who reviewed for this story, you kept me going! Thanks to Dad and Mushy for their constant support. Thanks to everyone who told me to keep at it. Thanks for everyone who read this story devotedly._

_There will be a teaser for the sequel, Knowing Rose Tyler, online in a few days, keep your eyes peeled for that._

_Please, please, please review everyone, tell me what you thought, how I can improve. Even if you dont usually review but have been reading, just pop in and say hi, I like to keep track of people who spent time on me._

_P.S. I put in that slap you all demanded, just for you!_


	18. Teaser

Rose bumped the door open with her hip, careful not to spill the tea and toast she was carrying. Inside, the Doctor, her Doctor was asleep.

Actually, he was unconscious. And whatever Rose did, he wouldn't wake up.

She had no idea what made him faint like that; he was fine one minute, then out cold, falling on top of her. It had taken a struggle and a half to get him into his bedroom, but she had managed.

Placing the tray on the bedside table, Rose sat on the covers and waited.

'_James definitely has a handsome face.'_ Rose thought before she could correct herself. She scolded herself quietly. It wasn't James' face, James never existed.

The Doctor stirred, shifting slightly under the covers and Rose turned her attention back to him. He furrowed his brow before opening his eyes and blinking them into focus.

'There you are.' Rose smiled. 'I gotta admit, you really scared me just then. What did you think went wrong?'

The Doctor frowned. 'Rose? What are you doing here?' He looked around at the bed he was sleeping in, 'Why were you watching me sleep?'

Rose smiled and rolled her eyes like she was telling off a small child. 'Doctor, what else did you expect me to do once you fainted like that? Read a book?'

He raised a hand to his face and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 'Rose, I might be smart, but I never did a PhD.'

'What?' Rose asked warily.

The answer chilled Rose to the bones.

'I'm not a doctor.'

* * *

Rose followed him at a jog into the control room, on the verge of tears.

'Where are we, Rose?' He asked suddenly, turning to face her.

Rose blinked back the tears, 'We're on the TARDIS.' She said simply.

'A Torchwood operation?' he prompted.

Rose could only shake her head. His manner suddenly changed as he realized something. He kicked into something resembling his protective mode, only, it wasn't the same.

'Are you in danger?' He asked gently.

'No!' Rose was almost sobbing now, 'I'm safe, I'm with you, we're home.'

He shook his head slightly. 'This isn't your home, Rose, and it's definitely not mine.'

Rose used her sleeve to wipe away some tears as her mind clicked into place.

'James?' She asked warily, her voice cracking slightly.

'_Please don't, please...'_ she begged silently.

The Doctor did it.

He nodded.

Like it was the most obvious think in the world.

Crying, Rose took a step towards him, searching his green eyes for that spark that could only belong to the Doctor, but there was none. His eyes were like the sea after a storm, she needed the storm.

Rose began shaking, trembling all over, she glanced around her, to find someone that could help, but the only person that could was standing right in front of her.

'Rose-' James started, but suddenly, he convulsed, groaning in pain. He grabbed his head frantically.

'Rose! What's going on?' He screamed, but Rose just stood there helplessly. He screamed again and fell to his knees, writing in agony. Without warning, he stopped, still holding his head and breathing heavily. Trembling, he looked up.

'Rose? What just happened?' He asked.

The storm in his eyes had returned.

* * *

Please, tell me what you think! Got you itching for the explanation? Be expecting the first chapter of Knowing Rose Tyler to be up in a few weeks. Anyone interested? I'm thinking of changing the name to Watching James Samuels, but I dont think it has the same ring to it, any better ideas?

Also, is there anyone that's better at writing summeries than my pathetic excuse for one? Because I really need a better summery. Please and Thankyou's!

Thankyou to everyone who reviewed for the story:

Chellmaia, superperfect, littlelights, x-EmilyTennant-x, Stoko, forestwife, DoctorWhoRules, CallistaZM, Perfect Pirate Captain, Emela, scme, Gilari, Fusionmix, Soap Sudd, emerald sorceress, The Girl In The Wrong World, Simply Lily, RuthieG, TheWatcherandReader, braceface freak, Wish Wielder, charli, Vanderslice, Lady Ardana, The Chibi's Are Stalking Me, gaiafreedom21, blvdgirl, ThisTish, waterdragon719, B00K FREAK, PlayKate, Tai DuClau, They Can't Kill The Weasley..., PsycoCatGirl, Legolas0, Futuristic-dudette, Liquid Topaz, Genne, Angel-Hunteress, zotlot, Sunny angel, Mo, The Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver, gypsysoul, Mustang-bex1126, Gilari, Whofan, jammies2000, Sarah, TeggieLady, black kitkat, Cerdwyn3, JForward, MythStar Black Dragon, blackhairdye, totally.doctor.who, wyldcat, Lacuna77, bekett, Advanceshipping Maniac, Callista Maris, White Purity, deadgloves, Moreta Lynx, HarryWhoFanatic, Lady R. Nevermore, Child-of-the-Dawn, Clare-stovold, luckygreenterrier, she-had-a-chance, angel19872006, anne, Ringwarriorkayla 1607, LilStar17x, Formerly Known as Xeven, gabbicav, eXtErMiNaTe56, Vampbarbie, Angel452, Fivery, Doctored, Lucy, stephanie clark, Kate Granger-Potter, Bunny, shinigamivc, bad-wolf-bay, Maria Gonzalez, bloodymary2, stainedglassmasquerade, hehmehfeh, kiss-her-theta, Lana Aurelius, DoubleNatural, tolitz, Kat, i forgot my name, KarasuK, Hilary-grace, Autumn Ruby, kzbuckedoff, fondls, Lanatheobscure, scullymulder, ATeeAdorkable, aragornlover, Snowvortex, Gamine Madcap, Kyra Neko, Making My Way Back To Galifrey, Gypsy of Atonement, horsefly, The Pistol Star, str4yk1rr3n, JustThisOnce and Shrink To Be.

(My, that is a long list isnt it? But thanks to each and every one of you!)


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